James Bullard on Purpose, Vulnerability, and Radical Joy

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Welcome to hecast, the official podcast of he changed it.

As always, I am Mike Chisholm. As always, I am so excited to

have conversations with different people from around the

world around the topic of men's mental Wellness or mental

Wellness in general. And, and today is is no

different. I'm so beyond excited about it.

James E Bullard, okay, he's the host of the Radical Joy podcast.

And if you want to, if you want to find him on social media,

James E Bullard is where you can.

He's got his website. He's a a world class coach and

and like I said, the the the host of on Instagram as well,

James E Bullard as well, but the host of Radical Joy.

And I mean, you got a guy here who is for anybody out there

who's wondered, OK, that guy from he cast, he's a really

positive guy. I wonder if there's anybody

who's as positive as him out there.

Yeah, no, no, no. James is that guy vibrates very

high and I appreciate that very, very much about him.

He is a literally like, it's like the words the he's like a

sunbeam turned into a human. He really, really is.

And not to say that he's got a perfect life.

He's gone through stuff, he's learned a whole bunch of stuff

throughout his life. But through that, you've got

this guy here who literally he is a conduit to people being

able to turn on joy in their lives.

He really is. And if you don't, if you haven't

experienced joy for a while, and there's a lot of guys out there

who haven't experienced joy for a while, this might be, you

know, let this be the solar energy that just goes into your,

into your panels and, and, and charges you up a little bit.

It's one of the most encouraging conversations I've had in quite

some time. I listened to his podcast.

I appreciate it very, very much. It's one of those podcasts that

I listen to if I'm not in a good spot or it's a, oh, it's a full

moon day or something like that. And, and I'm, I'm vibrating low

radical joy is, is, is, is one of my little secrets that I have

that I, that I listen to It is, it is a really powerful,

powerful message that he puts out there.

Really cool guy, has a lot of adventures, a lot of stuff under

his belt. His Ted talk is very good as

well. I highly recommend that.

And we barely even scratch the surface when it comes to the

life experience. Please, please enjoy my

conversation today with James Bullard.

James I am very, very excited about this conversation.

Every once in a while I run into somebody who I feel like just by

their disposition, I realize they are a brother from another

mother. That phrase gets used a lot.

But man, alive, when I started listening to Radical Joy, I

just, I felt like, oh, my goodness, here's a person that

gets me. It's taken me 50 years.

I turned 50 this year. I know you're you're around

that. I know, right?

We're already crushed it. Yeah, there you go.

And, and, and, and it's taken that long for me sometimes in

some of the ways that I've been built to really recognize who I

am. Radical Joy.

There could not be a better name for a podcast.

I cannot wait to get into the way that you look at the world

because I really do feel commonality here.

James, welcome, welcome, Welcome to Heat Cast.

I can't wait to do this. Thank you, Mike.

It's so nice to be here. I love it whenever you came

across the desk because I can now see this sounds like the

kind of thing that I would love to do.

Listening to your intro on YouTube, checking out a lot of

your media as I Yeah, yeah. This is somebody that we can

absolutely drive with. I love it.

And the topics you cover, the way that you approach it, your

viewpoints, your perspectives. Yes, happy to be here.

Thank you for invitation. You know, and, and, and you

know, of course, of course, and I can't wait to do your show

too. Like I, I love, I love the

podcast Doci doe. I love when we go from, I love

doing that and, and making that happen.

But I got to tell you, I've got, I've got envy, like I've got

envy with you. And it's not, it's not bad envy.

It's the envy where iron sharpens iron.

And I just want to be better. But I'll tell you this.

It's the the vocabulary you have absolutely amazing vocabulary

able to articulate points and you do it in a way that makes

you stop and go, oh, that made sense.

And it was really clever at the same time.

And I appreciate that about you. And I know it's just you being

you. I know it's just the light, you

know, shining out of you that you are.

I can't wait to get into this. I gotta ask.

Let's go to the origins of radical joy.

And then people, our, our, our, our, our viewers and listeners

can, can, can kind of feel that disposition that I was talking

about. And then I've got a whole bunch

of places I want to go with that.

But let's talk about Radical Joy.

What inspired you to to break out and to bring this podcast

that is a shining light in the world?

Again, it's not advice. It's the same thing as our show

here. It's not, it's not advice.

It's listening to other people's stories, perspectives, opinions

on things and how people can overlay those things into their

lives. What was it?

What was the catalyst that that that created Radical Joy for

you? One of my favorite people in the

world was working with another set of podcasts.

It the parent company, the If you could see me project a while

back. Now it is since not it's no

longer in in service. They decided to go ahead and

shut the doors on that a while back, but they were looking for

voices that were very uniquely situated to shed more light.

Not necessarily fact because I'm that I try to do the best that I

can as far as homeworking and giving accurate information all

the time. But it's more about a mindset

and an attitude because so often we can get so bogged down.

People who want to, you know, they say misery loves company,

but sometimes joy is kind of left alone in the room.

Everybody loves to just pile on board whenever somebody's upset

and they commiserate. And I get that I do.

It makes you feel less alone. However, what I want to try to

do is make sure that we continue to leave the doors open whenever

someone enters with joy to share.

It's not a boast. It's not trying to say, look at

me. What it is, is I have something

wonderful to share and the light and the warmth that I shine

because this has happened or I have caused this to happen is

something I want to make sure that I don't get to enjoy it by

myself. I want to give that to people in

my try, people in my immediate vicinity.

So maybe that'll sort of ripple out as well and keep all of us

on a better note. God knows we could use it.

It is difficult out there to keep your head held high today.

OK, so this is the exactly the disposition that I was talking

about. When did this version of you

show up? Have you been like this since

elementary school? Have you been like this and it's

just evolved since then and then you've discovered things?

Or have you always been that optimistic, that positive,

wanting to be a light in the world intrinsically,

instinctively, naturally, just from the inside out?

That's clearly who you are. When did that start?

I have to say probably way back, my mom and dad, I had an

incredible childhood. I, I lived out in rural Alabama

and honestly part of it was sort of a survival tactic because it

was very clear that I did not fit the mold.

I was loud, I was really gregarious.

I had a lot of questions. I was really enthusiastic about

a whole lot of things and not very enthusiastic at all about

things that men were supposed to be enthusiastic about, AKA

sports or hunting or any other kind of things.

So it was almost a survival tactic.

You've got to make sure that you find a way to shine no matter

what it is you love and don't love, because there are folks

out there that really try to make life difficult for you if

you don't. Not harshing them.

It's just understanding where you are and how you're going to

get through it. Shortly after I graduated from

high school, I went to university.

Graduated university, and shortly after that sort of work

with dad in the car business. Same thing there.

You want to talk about a place folks hate car salesman worse

than they hate lawyers. And so you just have to find a

way to shine around it because people come in there with two

strikes against you and they're ready for their fastball too.

So you just have to find a way to make it work.

Made great money, had a good time.

It was just a really heavy job. Then I took the Greyhound from

Birmingham, AL to New York City and I did 4 days of auditions.

I think I went to three auditions and got callbacks for

one. I was like, well if I can do

that, it's time to go. So I did and I lived in New York

for like 17 years and it continued to be that same sort

of thing. You show up and somebody's ready

to just rain on your parade at every moment and you've either

got umbrella to keep yourself protected or you shine a little

sun and make sure folks around you can stay dry and warm as

well. And it just kept on because

growing up in the South, you automatically inherit this sort

of like charm or or colloquialism that just clings

to you. Especially my family, we were

always in sales or some sort of like social forward facing,

whatever. So we've just always been

talkers always. And you can either talk to keep

people's attention, or you can talk to entertain them, which

will both make them enjoy your company and sort of keep them

around and engaged. And so the humor and, and the,

the light that I try to shine is usually the combo that I just

keep trying to cultivate. I keep trying to shine it around

because it's the older I get and the less stupid I become, the

more I realize it's like, you know, this is in short supply.

Again, not Tooting my horn. I'm just saying if you find

something that you know is rare, precious, valuable, however you

want to look at it, you just try to keep making more of the same

stuff because a it, it kind of keeps you a little bit ahead of

the game so you don't get lost in the shuffle.

And it helps a whole lot of people along the way, too.

It really does. And and, and my goodness, can I

ever relate to your story In so many ways.

I was the guy growing up, like when I got my first kind of

career job, I was a marketing guy for Costco.

And, and it was when Costco was coming up, like, like, like,

like my first job was to go into businesses.

And I'm like 2122 years old. My job is to go into businesses

and convince them why it's OK to shop, to pay, to shop at a

store, you know, and, and, and, and something similar to where

you're coming from, you know, people coming and they're like,

people were really like people look at Costco now they're like,

Oh, it's a household name and it's all over the place.

Back then it was a disruption company that wasn't proven yet.

And, and so that was kind of my, my deal.

Walking in two strikes against you.

And you have to very quickly build rapport, build a

relationship and, and it, and the thing about it is I was

always to go back to elementary school.

I was always the kid where 6 out of 10 would look at me and be

like, Oh, I want to be friends with this guy.

He's like a bright, he's bright light.

He was bubbly, he's enthusiastic. 2 of them are

like, all right, we're going to see, we're going to hold back

here to see is this person for real or not?

And then one or two would be like exact, you know, magnets

that, that, that, that push away from each other.

It's like they're the, it's kind of the opposite.

They're the ones that love being the pessimist and love being

the, the, the person that, and so those people obviously, you

know, push away right away. I was always that kid and, and

even at Costco, I would remember bosses would be saying to me,

OK, like, are you for real? Like, or, or they would tell me

years later, because I stayed there a long time.

I was always trying to figure you out, Mike, to see if you

were actually for real or not. I imagine you probably had a lot

of that as well. Oh gosh, so much.

And I wish that the people that were in the two out of the ten

were as kind as you have described them.

You, you were generous in that description, friend, because if

your two or anything like my 2, those guys were real, really

tailed tutors because it wasn't enough that I, they didn't like

me. They wanted to make sure they

were on a mission to do it. They wanted to make sure

everybody saw through whatever they thought was false.

And I was like, go for it. I, I don't, don't know what else

to tell you. Pardon me.

I never said that in school because I was nowhere near

confident enough to say those kinds of things.

I was just living my life, bebopping around, having a

really great time with it. I had a wonderful childhood.

You know, nothing's perfect, but I, I do look back on it very

fondly. And, you know, those people who

didn't really see me for what I thought I was or was trying to

be are still there and I am not. And that's not a, a diss on

where they are. I'm just saying like, I have

been around, I have seen places and I have moved and I've

learned more because I kept moving.

And I don't know that they've had the same experience or the

same privilege, if that's OK to say.

I, I think it's in, they're sitting in anybody's lap if they

want it. But if you push it off, that's

on you. They like to sit a lot of people

like that. I found love to sit misery.

You said earlier, like misery loves company, right?

A lot of people like to sit in that and they like to spread it

around, right. And, and when they see somebody

who is doing their, you know, their, their their best to live

their best life. You know, again, I don't want to

I don't want to steal phrases that that that that have been

kind of Co opted and all that sort of stuff, But there's no

real better. And for people who are, are, are

literally where they're optimistic, the process is the

outcome and they are shooting for the big hairy audacious

goals. There are people out there who

will just look at that right away and try and knock it down

and, and, and, and stop it. And really what it comes down

to. Like, I go back to Costco for a

second. I started, I realized, you know,

probably four or five years in that I was gonna hit a glass

ceiling with Costco and, and, and where I'm born and raised,

it's a beautiful city called Kelowna.

And I know it. What you know what you know

about right? I'm born and raised here.

I'm so lucky enough to say that I'm born and raised here and

I've travelled all over the world.

I've chased after a whole bunch of different goals and achieved,

you know, my, my, my bucket list again at 50.

I'm, I, I'm writing, I'm working on writing a thing called house

money. Because the rest of my, the 1st

50 years of my life, I have enough memories in my memory

bank and in my heart that have given me the life of 100 year

old. And I look at the next 50 and

I'm playing with house money because I'm so satisfied with,

with, with what's happened in my life.

So being born and raised here, I also realized I live in a

paradise. And so I'm going to allow some

of these big hairy audacious goals to kind of come to me.

And and why can't I host a couple of shows from Kelowna?

Yeah, I can and, and travel to where I want to travel to, but

then be able to come back at home with the family and all of

that. When I started to go back to the

Costco thing, when I knew I hit the glass ceiling and I wanted

more income, I started building up my financial business, which

is still what pays me today. I started building it on the

side and I would remember talking to people at Costco and

I'd be saying, hey, you know what, I'm getting into the

financial service business. You know, maybe I could show you

what it is that I do. And I remember there was a

percentage of people who were literally offended by what I

not, not because of what I was doing wasn't good for people

because what I do is good for people.

I've been doing it for 21 years and I got a nice firm, but it

was the fact that when they realized that I was trying to do

something outside of the walls of that warehouse and trying to

build something bigger and better for me.

They then instinctively without even or subconsciously, I should

even say without knowing it, applied that to their filter of

their viewpoint. And it became an I'm not enough

or I'm not good enough or I've settled or whatever.

I'm not chasing my stuff. And it, it caused friction.

It actually even lost a friendship or two over time.

And isn't it interesting when people go chasing things the way

that other people will take that personally?

I'm certain, again, I'm preaching to the choir when it

comes to that. Yes, yeah, you are.

And and we see it all the time. And luckily, like I said, like

the older I get, the more I realize it's not them coming

after me. That's them projecting

themselves coming after themselves.

And it's much easier to throw that spite at me than it is to

see that lack in yourself and try to do something differently.

Not even better, just differently.

We talk about this all the time on Radical Joy.

I pick what it is you want, find your passion, and then just go

after it like your ass is on fire.

Your one precious life. You have no idea when that last

day will come. None of us is guaranteed a

tomorrow. Knowing that and the richness

and the fullness of the life in front of you potential or

realized, why in the world are you not just going completely

for broke to make sure you can see just how far you can get

with what you've been given? You know, a couple of things you

just said, I think because, because we're a men's mental

Wellness, a platform and, and, and podcast and, and as you

know, Candace and the whole team and Joel and the whole team,

we're, we're looking for the pain points of why he changed.

It is so important. And I mean, there's all sorts of

reasons for it, but looking for the pain points of, of, of where

many men, many middle-aged men are at these days.

And by the way, you know, number one in suicides, middle-aged

men, number one in like when it comes to heart attacks and

cancers and things like that as to what's killing them, like,

like a big part of that is the pain point is purpose or lack

thereof. And we get into this society

where we are literally just told to plug and play, you know,

here's the rails. You know, you get a good job,

get married, you know, or get education, get married, get the

house, get all this sort of stuff.

And that's the purpose. And, and it's almost like a

promise, a hidden promise that once you get these things,

you're going to be fulfilled. And then you get there and

you're not and you're in the grind and in the grind, you have

a hard time to pop your head up and even know what your passion

is, even know what your purpose is.

And, and, and there are so many guys that are even in my circle

and I'm the guy that tries to say, to nudge people and say,

hey, just go and start that thing.

You want to start the process is the outcome.

And with the process comes a metric ton of joy and, and, and,

and but they don't even know what their purpose or their

passion is. And, and so again, I look to you

and it's like, OK, here's a guy who literally changed his

surroundings to go from a, a reciprocal, A yin Yang Alabama

to New York. I know a little bit about New

York because of my Letterman podcast stuff.

I mean, my gosh, what a change. But yet you just had that, that,

that knowledge, that instinctual knowledge to say, I'm going to

go for something that is a big hairy audacious goal.

You were born with it. How lucky that is.

What do you say to guys out there who are like, they don't

even know what their passion is because they're just stuck in

the grind and they need to pop their head up?

They don't even know they need to pop their head up.

First of all, I tell them they're not alone.

I tell them what they're doing is so unbelievably common.

Not common in the fact that it is mundane, but common in the

fact that so many men, especially in our age group,

feel so similarly because they have done everything according

to the book, to the letter. They got their education, they

found the right partner, they had a family, they've got the

house, they provided the grandchildren.

They did literally everything right.

And they're still wondering why they are empty and hollow and

searching for something to give them purpose, for something to

light up their souls with passion.

And it's because they never asked it of themselves.

They only listen to those around them, those who are supposed to

be older and wiser, who had travelled these paths before.

What they didn't realize, maybe, was that these men felt exactly

the same way. But because we are ever so

slightly more in touch with our emotions that we could say this

out loud, I think that previous generations were terrified to

even mention it. The fact that I even said that

they experienced terror in relation to this idea would

probably be wildly offensive to older generations of men.

My heart goes out to them. It's not pity.

It breaks my heart that they were not given permission to be

fully functioning emotional adults.

In a community of people that require emotion to succeed,

yeah. You put that so well, I one of

the, one of the things I wanted to pick your brain about is when

you do radical joy, like I can tell you're not scripted because

you're moving so fast that there's no way you'd be able to

read. There's no, there's no way.

It's, it's, is it when you do it, is it like, OK, two or three

points I want to talk about today.

And, and you just, you just go from there like, like you're,

oh, you're very talented at it. You're very, very, very good at

it. And I know you're in the

Netherlands, so I'm not going to compliment you too hard because,

I mean, that's something you've been learning.

I want to talk about that. Oh, you got to be careful.

Yeah. Edification's always been

something that I enjoy. Like when I was listening to

that episode, I, I, I, I I I chuckled to myself because

that's part of the way that people have said to me.

OK, are you really for real? Because when I see something

that I love, I can't help but gush about it and I edify people

like crazy. And yet that's people have

always gone OK. Is this guy for real?

No, it really is. It's passion coming from the

heart and doing that. And that's you doing the show

you. Is that what you do?

Just put two or three points down and you just go for it.

That's it. That's literally all there is to

it. I have a note in my phone that

keeps a little asterisk for each episode of what I'm thinking

like, but one of my most recent episodes that just came out is

called RIP What you sow, not reap what you Sow.

And I thought I was so clever with that as I well done, Well

done you, you word smithery. You Sir, you know, pardon me for

breaking my own arm to pat my own back, but this usually comes

from a really harsh lesson or a stinking nasty workout or

something that literally shakes everything on the outside that

is artifice or that is put on, or that is some sort of disguise

or mask. So that what is real is the only

thing that is left. And so whenever we get to that

point of it, we can really start to look at things the way that

we need to as people. Not just men, not just masculine

feature presenting, yadda yadda, yadda.

As people connected to other people who have a job, who have

a responsibility to other people to be just as real and sincere

and authentic as they possibly can.

Because when we do that, it gives permission to everyone

around us that perhaps isn't there yet on their way, but

maybe not quite there yet, to let them know I see you, you are

valuable. The thing you're doing is making

waves and it is covering ground. And that's so important.

Men need purpose. People need purpose.

But more importantly, men do. Women have this wonderful thing

where they build these incredible bonds with each

other, where they are loving and tactile and open and they can

discuss and uncover, discover so many things about each other.

And men sit together on a sofa, silent, scratching balls and

doing nothing to connect any more deeply than that.

It hurts me. Ain't nothing wrong with a

little quiet time on the sofa with your brother, man, because

you don't always have to be running your face 24/7.

And there are things we need to cover as men going through a

similar experience to know that we are not alone.

Well, and that I was just you took the words out of my mouth.

That brings it back to the the original point.

You were not alone. And how simple yet powerful a

concept that is. It's, it's and I found that the

the biggest truths in life seem to be that way.

Where where where it's a really simple concept.

Gratefulness is a really simple concept.

If you practice gratefulness intentionally, a whole bunch of

doors open up and a whole bunch of things change with your

insight, right. You are not alone is probably

again, a very simple concept like, you know, somebody going

through marriage problems, right, Relationship problems,

OK, the the moment that that person knows that they're not

alone, the moment that they realize that this is not a

pathway that that they are having to carve through the

jungle with a machete. But there is a a wide open

highway that they could walk down and and, and, and other

people are walking down it at the exact same time.

And and there are people who will come to you that have been

to the end of the road and can come circle back and they can

show you. And again, this is exactly why,

like radical joy is so important.

It's what we're trying to do it. He cast to the whole the

emphasis with he changed it. It's an app that's being

developed where men can go to a place where they can leave

something that they know, which by the way is vulnerability.

Guys say, people say men can't be vulnerable.

Oh my gosh, how many guys we've actually Co opted the phrase

mansplaining to, to, to, to, to, to, to mock the idea that men

many times just want to help. I'm not saying they do it with

tact. I'm not saying that they're

practiced at it and the best way to deliver.

But like mansplaining really comes down to the place where

men intrinsically are vulnerable when they want to share

something that they know. But the more important thing

with he changed it is yes, it's a place where they can share

something they know, but they can take something that they

need. And that's the part that many

time men just, you know, they don't take something that they

need. And a big root of that is

because of the you are not alone and guys don't realize it.

I think that is a very, very, very important point.

And I'm glad that you you mentioned it.

One of the things that you also have busted through is something

that I am working on and and and and part of the things that the

reason that I've had so many dream come true type moments and

things like that. And I'll probably talk about

this when I come on your show is, is, is, is battling imposter

syndrome. Because many times when you do

get that authenticity that you're talking about, we

actually have that quiet time where we can do some work into

ourselves and say, OK, what the heck is a passion for me?

What is something that makes my, you know, that that makes my

heart tick a little bit faster? And, and, and, and we learned

that. But then, OK, it might be

playing music. Well, I don't know Jack shit

about playing music. I don't know.

I, I can't, I can't play music. So it doesn't matter.

Get the guitar, learn 5 chords. You don't have to play in front

of Madison Square Garden. You can you can just the

fulfillment of the process will get you there.

But many times that imposter syndrome that oh, I can't do

that. That shows up the comparison.

And as we know, comparison is the thief of joy.

And, and so you know, that's something again, when people

like you and I sometimes talk, it's been a journey.

And you haven't always had this confidence.

It's and, and by the way, you don't always have it either.

You know, you find you vibrate higher when you do stuff like

this. You and I clearly are very

passionate about podcasting. I'm in my flow state right now.

I don't care how many times my phone goes off.

I don't care. Like I said earlier, time gets

slippery. But the idea of finding that

passion, but then giving yourself the permission to go

down that path and start exploring it, that can be

because of that imposter thing, a, a difficult thing.

You've gone through that. And I want you to talk about it

because I think the there are guys who have listened to this

conversation thus far who would be very surprised to know that.

Oh gosh, yeah. Well, here's the thing too.

Learning the new thing. Like you're talking about

following your passion for music.

I love music. I want to be a part of that.

Everyone sucks when they start. Everyone sucks.

I mean, capital SUCKS. Bold, underline, italics.

Everyone learning something that cool is gonna hurt.

You are going to fail, and I mean miserably.

Spectacularly so you might as well hear it from me and know

whenever you're feeling that awful, that embarrassment,

because you're not some virtuoso the moment your finger touches a

string. That is how that works.

You have to suck before you can get better because that's part

of it and I wish it wasn't. God knows I flipping hate it.

I'm here in the Netherlands learning Dutch.

All of my friends are either Dutch born or have been here for

a decade so they're all. And also Dutch is not a sexy

language. It is harsh, it is guttural,

it's got this thing in it that is just a nightmare.

Yep. Learning a sexy language is a

second language is very different thing than learning

sort of a wonky language. I love it.

It is the new home language of my people and I'm working on it.

But you want to talk about Ready to fight?

I'm so mad because I suck at it so hard it hurts me to my guts.

I hate hate being anything other than awesome at anything, and I

got a big gamut of things that I do really well.

It ain't bragging if you can back it up.

What I'm saying is because we are already set for excellence

in certain areas of our lives, going after something that is

new and unfamiliar, what we're going to suck at for any amount

of time is not a place we love to live.

It is uncomfortable, it is awkward, it is embarrassing.

And men that the bigger and tougher the man, the less he

enjoys being embarrassed. He's not used to that emotion

and in order to grow, you have to expose yourself to that

emotion and live in it. And that sucks.

Just in case you missed that the first seven times I said it, I

cannot. I got to emphasize it.

It's just so important that people really, really, really

understand that That's exactly where my mind goes first.

Nobody likes that. Nobody enjoys it.

Especially these big guys. They've lived a certain life and

they've done everything exactly as they were prescribed, and it

didn't make them happy, but it came relatively easily because

they knew they were going to do it and they prepared their whole

lives to do it. When you finally figure out what

your passion is, hats off. That's not an easy task either.

To admit to yourself what it is that really sets your soul on

fire is not something most men can do very easily.

It's not something a lot of people can do very easily.

Once you figure that out and you start going after it with Wild

Abandoned and it doesn't feel as easy or as prepared as

everything else you've done in your life, it stinks.

And the fact that you have to stick with it to get proficient

and be really good at it means you're going to have to wallow

in that stink for a while. Yep, nobody loves that.

That's how it happens, because one day it just clicks and one

day it just comes together. It doesn't really get much

easier, you just get better at it.

Yep, and it feels amazing. Amazing.

You talk about the comfort zone and getting uncomfortable and,

and really, that's where, that's where advancement and greatness

is out there too. Like, like, you know, but it

doesn't. Again, greatness is in the eye

of the beholder, right? If you're feeling, if you play,

you know, you learn the five chords necessary to play

Wonderwall and you play Wonderwall and you sing it for

the first time that there's a part of you inside that is

greatness. And it lights up like a

Christmas tree. It comes right up and it goes

for it. And, and, and you're exactly

right. Like that's the thing that I

love is the process is the outcome.

Like right now, one of the things I'm stretching myself,

You're stretching yourself in the Netherlands.

I want to, I want to ask you why you picked there in a second.

But, but one of the ways I'm stretching myself is I'm doing

stand up, not because I think I'm a, I'm a particularly funny

guy, but I want to get the discipline under my belt.

I want to have, you know, easily, like I've always been

the guy that, you know, has embassied weddings and, and,

and, and, and, and things in my family and all that.

But I want to get actual stand up under my belt because in one

of my other, you know, adventures, I hang out with a

lot of stand ups. And if I'm in New York or in LA

or whatever and I'm hanging out with them and there's 5 minutes

or whatever, I want to be able to go up and and and be

respectable. If not crush.

Absolutely it is. Why just stop crazy process?

Why just stop it? Respectable.

You've already sold yourself a little short, Mike.

I'm not having. I'm calling you out right now.

Right on. I want to crush it.

I want to crush it and I want to so, so, so like you're doing

that in another way. You have gone to another part of

the world that you like you say, speaks a very different

language. I'm so curious the what led you

to picking the Netherlands and, and, and heading there And what

are some of the things you must be considered very exotic over

there? I can only imagine that the

people there, what they think of you and, and what that process

has been like. So, So what did that?

How did that happen? Exotic is a very kind word.

I think what they think is weird, but what you mentioned

earlier plays right in into it because you're like, is this guy

for real? And then they realize that no,

really, this is just who I am. Look at the shirt, dude.

This is not an act like this is really took from the bones out.

This is who I am. Whenever Donald Trump became

president again, I knew that I was not going to stay in the

United States. I am not going to wake every

morning to another crazy making Newsday every day for the rest

of what is some of the best years of my life.

I'm just not going to do it. A very good friend of mine that

lives here in the Netherlands. I met him on a cruise ship.

I was singing with my band and he was on there on his honeymoon

with his first wife. We got to be very good friends.

He's this enormous dude, giant beard.

He looks very stoic, but he is such a hoot.

And I was like, that shirt is glorious.

It was a wild bubble gum pink Hawaiian shirt with like fronds

and and tropical flowers all over it.

Our gig was relatively short. Whenever I got back to the house

back to the apartment in New York after this gig, there was a

parcel waiting from the Netherlands with 2A bubble gum

pink and a mint green. Identical shirts in like normal

people sizes. Oh good, I I love the balloons.

And I know what those are for. I don't know.

That's the first time I've ever seen that happened.

It's this guy right here. Whenever I give you a peace

sign, you'll get some balloons. It happens on our software as

well, and I dig it. I do.

And if you give it a thumbs up, you'll also get a little balloon

for thumbs up, I think. Oh, maybe not.

OK, well I like the piece. Anyway, it's on your end anyway.

That's super cool. OK, right on, I did.

Yeah, Whenever I left, I I was thinking maybe Italy or Spain

because I speak Italian, I speak Spanish as well.

And my friend reached out to me because I was the best man at

his second wedding here in Nymecha in the Netherlands.

And he says, well, have you thought about the Netherlands?

I said, no, I have not thought about the Netherlands.

I don't speak any Dutch. He's like everybody here speaks

English. I said, yeah, but it's not the

same. You know, if you're going to

live in a country, you need to be part of the culture, you need

to be part of the community. And he says, well, the visa here

is very straightforward, and as long as you have this much money

to put in a Dutch bank, it's pretty much a guaranteed done

deal. So here I come, and the next

thing I know, I'm starting a life here.

And it's wonderful. The people at my gym are

incredible. They know I'm absolutely insane,

especially by Dutch standards. On the 11th of this month, I'm

help. I'm helping host a party called

Disco Flex. And the owner just walks up and

he's like, I want to do a disco party and I want to do it with

you. And I think it's going to be

awesome. Let's do it.

Yeah. Because I have been.

I've been seen for who I am. And for some people that's going

to be so their flavor and their vibe.

And for others be like, absolutely not, which is great.

I want to burn at a temperature so that either people run up to

embrace it or they shun me entirely.

This whole middle of the road thing is for a younger, stupider

man, I got too much going on to worry about somebody who doesn't

know whether or not they want to spend time with me.

And so I came to the Netherlands and it has been a joy.

It's been a challenge, but the most rewarding things in life

are a mix of both. It can't all be just one.

You got to have a spectrum. You've got to have a point of

comparison. Comparison is the thief of joy.

It is also a point of recognition of how to know when

you're doing it right, and how to know whatever you probably

need to improve. Yeah.

And, and, and, and I think that, you know, comparison can be one

of those words that's, that's Co opted as well.

In the sense that when you are, when you are looking to see

where you're at and you're doing an actual, you know, authentic

measuring of where you are in life and where you would like to

be in life, that's a different measure than looking at whatever

somebody else is doing and, and, and feeling bad and, and, and

whatnot. No, if you're actually going,

OK, well, look like, because comparison in that sense can be,

oh, wait, what's possible? What's possible?

There are guys out there right now.

Hey, if you have a broadcaster in you and you don't even know,

you know what even it looks like or whatever, start a podcast if

you want, if you feel the need to do that.

You and I both did that. And both of us can say, Oh my

gosh, it's changed our lives. It's made us feel better because

we're doing something that has been inside of us for a long

time. And it was almost like for me,

like, because I, I, I wouldn't, I wasn't the guy who was going

to go and get a broadcasting degree and things like that.

That seems so foreign to me where I, where I grew up.

It was almost like the, the medium suddenly showed up and

now the medium is there. Oh, my goodness.

And all the doors just flew wide open.

There are guys right now who are listening to this, trying to

figure out what their medium is, whatever it might be.

And we live in a world now where the sky has never been higher.

There is no limit. There's never been a, the Sky's

the limit, but the Sky's never been higher because of

technology, because of some of the good things that are out

there. And that brings me to something

else I want you to talk about. Because in your Ted Talk, the

very, one of the very last lines of your Ted Talk, I actually

wrote it down on my phone. My phone's across the room right

now. But one of the very last lines

in the Ted Talk, I love your take on AI because so many

people have these these, these these fearful takes on AI and

listening to you talk about creativity and the creativity

that only a human, specifically people who are listening to

this, you are fearfully and wonderfully made.

You are the only one who is like you ever.

And if you've gone to try and make yourself like other people,

it kind of takes away the fact that you are as individual as

you are. And because each human is so

individual, that creativity is going to be what feeds the

machine and the machine is always going to want to be fed.

Like does that does did I just sum up what you, what, what your

point of view is? And I would love you to talk

about that because your take on creativity, like James,

seriously, I, I, I just adore it.

Thank you, you're really close. I don't love to think about it

as feeding the machine because that makes me feel more like

fodder than it does about the source code.

We are the original. OK, Make no mistake, AI is

glorious. It is here, it is not going

anywhere. For someone to think that it's

going to just evaporate is the same thing people thought 20

years ago without the Internet was a fad.

Please understand this is not something that is going away.

Knowing that, severely confident in that fact, why in the world

would I not educate myself on how to use that ethically,

responsibly, and understand that I am the original.

I use it to improve something that I have already created and

I'm wildly proud of, and whatever the machine cranks out

may be something I will never use.

Knowing that, why would I not at least utilize this?

To see what it sees of my work, how it would change it, augment

it, refine it, sharpen it, brighten it and make the call.

Then to know if it's an improvement or if it's just now

it's lost the voice that is very so specifically me.

We're given an opportunity, we're given world changing

technology. To shun it, to ignore it is not

the way to approach that in my opinion.

It's learn what you can from it, help it enrich whatever it is

that you're putting into the world.

Make sure it says your message as clearly as possible and then

keep going with your source code.

It's a tool. Period.

And we're doing it. We're doing it right now.

I'm having this conversation right now that's going into the

digital realm is going to affect the AI and how it works.

And guess what? Every single other person out

there is doing the same thing. And, and I think I would, I, I'm

an optimist. I, I like to think that most

people at the end of the day want what's good for them, for

their family, for the people around them, for their

community, for what's in the world.

Are there outliers to that? Of course there are.

Of course there's darkness. Of course there's those one or

two out of 10, whatever it is, right?

But at the end of the day, if there's more of us, if there's

more people who are trying to shine that light out there, and

we're doing that in the things that we create, we're using our

creativity to make that the AI is it's, it's, it's, it's taking

from us and continue. That's why we got to make new

stuff. I love some of the music that's

out there for AI. OK, Like, like there's a there's

a there's AI don't even know the channel.

And I, and I, and I feel bad because the person who came up

with it is absolutely so clever that that has taken, you know,

I, I'm a big hip hop fan. I love all music, but hip hop is

one of the genres I love. And, and they've taken like

$0.50 songs and they've put it and made them into like these

old school bluesy jazz versions of these, of these songs, you

know, using the same lyrics. And then it's, it's so clever.

It's so clever and it's great. And I can spend two or three

hours listening to it while I'm writing or doing something.

It's awesome. But.

Well. It has a limit to it.

Sure, exactly. These kind of things are around

and it's not that we don't think that people aren't capable.

I have full faith in so many of our people to come up with the

most glorious creations and discoveries and all these other

kind of things. It's just the AI will make it

happen faster, let's be honest. And two, if you can feed it to

that and it'll come out, you know, it took years and tons of

money and production value and all those other companies to

make Lounge of the Machine a thing.

And even now it's like, you know, we know it because we dig

it. We love what they're trying to

do. We see it, you know, I see the

awesome, I got you. That's not, that's not the world

at large. I, I feel kind of proud of us

for being able to see those kind of things for the value that

they are. And this other thing it, it, it

gets more of this out like it creates it, it, it puts it out

there so people can see it, they can get exposed to it.

They know what they like. And then they can look for more

things that were probably, you know, human created instead of

machine created. Yes, the human influences there

wouldn't be nice to find something that was original from

start to finish, all human creation.

Sweet. It's, it's just like going to

Google, you know, I can go to Google and I can get all the

headlines or I can go to Google, get the headlines and continue

to do my homework and be more fully informed.

Very similar situation. I know where I want to start by

asking AI the questions by giving it the prompts.

And then I also understand that whenever I do that, it's almost

like a Wikipedia page on steroids, and I need to look for

individual sources instead of something that was just sort of

mashed together by basically the entire wealth of human knowledge

as we know it. Yeah, that's exactly right.

Like to go back to that music for a second, The Black Album by

Metallica is one of my greatest. Like as far as I'm concerned,

that's one of the greatest pieces of art ever, ever

created. You can go online and you can

find an AI created funk version of that album.

The entire album done in funk. It sounds like Sly and the

Family Stone doing it. Here's the thing, we still need

Metallica to make the cool things so that we can play with

the cool things. And we need to figure that out.

And that's where the, the, the human part of the equation will

never die because as we continue to, to, to, to, to, to grow as a

species, the creativity is the driving force that separates us

from out of these things. And these are just tools.

I just love that so much and, and creating things.

And that's what I want to help inspire people to do whatever it

is, whatever creativity means for, for, for the people that

are listening to this or watching this, What does that

mean for you? And, and again, there are

challenges. We've got these devices that

their goal is to get us spending more time on the devices.

That's the goal, right? But sometimes it's just really

cool to kind of sit back and be bored, to be in a place where

you let the mind start doing its thing, because it does.

Even if you're, if you feel like you're bored, you're not really

bored. There are parts of the brain

that are working right now and you don't have them occupied by

devices. And I think that that's a huge

part of it as well. I agree.

I do. And and something that just

sparked in my mind while we were talking about these kinds of

things, humanity is the source code.

And as we were talking earlier, there is a very large portion of

manhood that is sort of locked away in our humanity because the

emotions that we are supposed to feel, just being human animals,

is often denied us because it is seen as weak.

It is seen as something other than masculine.

And the technology that comes to play whenever what we're talking

about in unofficial intelligence does give a bit of a pass if we

just throw ourselves at it and let the machine do all the work.

Because that means we don't need all of our humanity to still

create these kinds of things that are so very human centered.

Meaning there are people out there who were not allowed to

feel the full spectrum of human emotion, and they are finding

this to be a wild relief, perhaps because they don't have

to face those things. They can be creative, they can

be artistic, they can make something new out of something

that existed before without having to face the the reality

of the wholeness of their humanity.

And that's scares me because men don't realize how badly they

need it. They just don't know because

everything is working against them in the whole process.

Something you mentioned earlier about chasing greatness.

Greatness doesn't feel like greatness to the people who are

great. That's right.

It feels like just another day at the office.

So whenever I am doing this thing that everyone else thinks

is so, so cool, but it's just something that I naturally have

an affinity or an aptitude to do well, it doesn't feel like

greatness. It doesn't feel like anything

out of the ordinary. So whenever I go after something

that I would like to be great AT and to be considered great at,

that failing and that try again and that sucking at the start

are not things I'm used to feeling.

I'm used to just feeling like I can handle everything and people

think I'm great at it. This new thing gets a whole

other level of what I consider great to be I think we hold

ourselves to such an incredibly high standard, to a new

something that we're learning that whenever we reach a certain

level of proficiency, that's still enough to blow some

people's doors right off the barn.

Absolutely. And we keep wanting to be

better, which is great. Continue to work, continue to

refine and keep on exceeding expectations.

However, please understand that those come in stair steps as

well. It's great that you get those

five chords in so you can get Wonderwall or whatever it is you

want to do. Champagne Supernova, however you

like to play it, yes. And then you just keep our

stairway to heaven. God knows, we've all heard that

one a million times. But you do it because that's

literally rite of passage. And your repertoire will

increase as your skill increases.

And you just got to be, you just got to be cool until you get to

a point where it just isn't a misery.

I, I, I hope I'm not like, I, I don't want to like hijack the

conversation, but I think that so much of technology things

really do come back to what men are experiencing and don't

realize how much they're missing in this.

I have Mediterranean friends. I live in Europe now.

So I have friends that are. Super.

Tactile, and their idea of personal space is much slimmer

than what I'm used to. OK, Like, wow.

And there was a part of me that felt very awkward about it at

first. Now I love a hug.

I do love a hug. Like, I'll grab you and I'll

squeeze you, you know, especially after a nasty workout

or, you know, haven't seen you in a while, any number of

things. This is different.

This is calm extended play resting of a hand on the back of

a neck on an on an on a leg and arm, a shoulder and it just

rests there and stays while someone is talking to you to

make their point. You're like this person is

touching me. They have not stopped touching

me. And once those red flags and

alarm bells start to kind of calm down and realize that

you're not in danger, it is incredibly calming and

connecting to know that this person is only doing that to

further and deep in that connection while they're

speaking to you on something that is important to them

because you are important to them.

And so many men, especially in like North American culture,

etcetera, have no point of reference for this because

anything more than a slap on the back three times when you're

getting a hug or like one of these terrible miserable side

hug bullshit things. No, if I'm hugging you, you

better be prepared from knee to shoulder.

I'm full body pressing you and if you try to get away, I'm

going to squeeze you until you squeak.

I've broken 2 ribs on two different human beings for

exactly that thing. The balloons were amazing on

that so. Perfect.

But it's it you have to understand, like I'm willing to

wound people for this connection.

Did I mean to? Of course not.

It was completely unintentional, clearly.

And it was so important to me that I was willing to hold on so

hard that it actually injured people that whom I love.

Like this wasn't, you know, some kind of like passive aggressor.

No, it was literally someone that I care very deeply about.

And sometimes the only way you communicate that clearly,

especially wrong, you know, Cavemen minded jerks like we can

be sometimes, is to almost prove who's the alpha.

Look, I've got you. And no matter how you wiggle

right now, I still have you. So you might as well just let it

happen. I understand this sounds

somewhat like a salt. Please understand that I mean

this from a very loving and respectful place.

I do. Because there's also a moment in

that hug where you feel that person melt, where you feel that

person's defenses start to crumble, and where you feel that

breath, where's that deep side where that person's ribs

literally start to lock inside your own.

And you know there, there's something that you hear in your

head that you can't say out loud because that will put someone on

their defensive. Again, I know you needed this

because I needed this. And you're the one I chose to

share this with. Please don't leave me alone.

It's all connection. It's all connections.

You look at technology like going to go back to the

technology thing to make your point right now, right now you

and I are connecting. We're connecting on a huge

level. Why are we doing it?

I'm in Canada, you're in the Netherlands, but we're doing

through the ones and zeros and we're doing it through

technology. And I can feel you through this.

And I know you can feel the same way because we're both, you

know, we both love this and, and, and part of the reason that

we love this is the connection that you get in doing this,

this, this, this, this amazing medium.

We're using technology to connect.

And there are so many people that are using technology to

disconnect. And that's where that lack of

awareness comes in. If you're aware, if you suddenly

can pop your head up, like I said, like I love to say, you're

like the little whack A mole, right?

Pop the head up, right? But you're not going to get

smashed. You're going to see what's going

on around instead of what's just in that little hole.

And I feel so many people are shutting down, shutting off, and

they're just plugging, you know, into a device in front of them

to escape. But the exact opposite is what

we need. We need to connect more.

We need to exactly what you just said.

A connection is so, so vital because we as a species crave

connection. You go all the way back and you

look at what tribalism from back in the day, the primal mind, you

know, the, the, the, the, the, the reptile brain still craved

connection. And that's where the tribalism

comes from right now. It's been that that's something

that's been Co opted as well and and weaponized, I feel, and

that's what's created a lot of the polarization that's out

there. When really at the end of the

day, do we want to be polarized? No, we want to be connected.

And why is it so important? And why or why is it so

powerful? It's because forces are taking

people and connecting them in a perverted way.

They're connecting them so they can say, OK, these are the

enemies. Let's all band together.

And whatever it is, whether it's a concept, whether it's a group

of people, whether it's a political party, whatever it is,

those people are the enemy. When really at the end of the

day, what we're really just looking for is connection.

And, and I mean, I, I, I don't think I could have ever

articulated it better than you just did, But I mean, it's so

it's so important. It's so important.

And, and I mean, whether you get that through the people at the

gym, people that you do hobbies with, if it's, if it's people at

work or whatever, we need that connection.

And for if you're if, if guys are out there that are feeling

that, my humble opinion is that perhaps if you're feeling alone,

you probably are and it might not be a bad idea to connect.

Yes also gentleman out there listening.

Your partner is not your only person.

You need to understand you need capital NA tribe, you need a

group of people because one person in your life cannot be

your end all, be all, solve all. Please, please hear me when I

say this. I have very little to advise to

impart to anyone. I can tell you my experience and

let you know that trying to get everything out of your romantic

partner, your life partner, instead of having that spread

around a group of people is very hurtful to both of you.

Why is it hurtful for both? I love that and it's true and I

know it. I'm experiencing it.

Why? Why do you why go down that path

a little bit more? Because I.

Think there's going? To be a group of people that

have kind of perked their ears up at that what you just.

Said good. No, because, well, here's the

thing. If you put all of that at the

feet of your loving partner, let's just assume a heterosexual

relationship here, you put all the feet, all that at the feet

of your wife, and she feels overwhelmed because men have

been having that. The only person, the only person

they've ever been taught that they can be fully and wholly

emotional with is their partner, is their girlfriend, is their

wife. That's the only person where

it's safe enough for you to be completely vulnerable and alone

and open to all of the feelings that are inside this human soul.

Imagine how overwhelming that must be for someone who is

already fully in connection with their human soul and now they

have to carry all of yours too. Not to mention the years of

trauma you may have endured, not to mention so many other things

that you are dealing with that is simply far too much for one

person to handle on their own. It's overwhelming for them.

And then let's get into the part where there may be feelings of

guilt when they can't handle two people's worth of emotion.

Even though that's not realistic by any stretch, they will still

take that on those I'll feelings that they were not enough to

take that on for both of you. It is not fair.

It is unjust. And if you love that person the

way you're supposed to love that person, you don't ask that of

them. You do the work so that you can

find others with whom you can share these things so it is not

an unbearable burden on the people who are the most

important to you. It's split among a group of

8/10/12, however many you it's, it's like an emotional Horcrux.

You got to split it up and you got to give it away.

Some people you can give them the heaviest thing on your heart

and it feels like a feather, and to others, the thing that you

can carry all day long feels like a cinder block or an anvil

hanging from their neck. You have to find the right match

for the right emotional weight so that you don't become a

burden. You become a partner, your

helper. That's what we're here to do.

Our mission is to make people's lives better.

There is no more important mission on the lives and souls

of men than to help, to provide, to protect.

That is an instinct that has been here since fire was first

born on the planet. And in order to protect them, we

have to do our own work and become more emotionally

intelligent, more emotionally evolved.

So we know when we're too heavy on one person and we remove that

burden to spread it around a little bit more.

Don't desert them. I'm not saying they can't handle

something. That's not at all what I'm

saying they're there for a reason.

They love you, they want to see you succeed and they want to

help you. They can't carry it all, and fun

part is neither can you. We need that connection so that

we don't have to carry that all by ourselves.

And for whatever reason, we're taught from a very young age

that you're an island, you're a rock, you're a mountain.

Strong equals immovable, inflexible, closed, stationary.

Could not be further from the truth.

One of the most flexible substances on the planet.

Spider silk. You weave that thickly enough,

it is stronger than steel. Yep.

And it's still flexible. I want us to think about us

exactly the same way by ourselves.

We're fragile, we're brittle. We're strong for our for our

breadth of line. When we connect with everyone

else and we start to weave that rope, that cable, we become

infinitely stronger and we have to continue to look at it that

way. Look for whatever metaphor you

need. Look for whatever picture that

helps you get there. You've got to get there, men.

It's not an accusation, it is a plea.

You're going to be so much better off.

Oh my goodness, when? Everyone around you, by the way.

Thank you. Yep.

That that's it. If it's not enough that you do

it for yourself, do it for everybody around you who wants

to see you succeed, who's there to watch it.

And they're waiting. Oh my God, they're just bated

breath waiting for you to breakthrough because they know

you're almost there. You want it so badly.

They can tell you want it badly because you're a good human

being, you're a good person inside.

You just don't know what it is you have to do to cross that

threshold. And that's OK, because no one's

trying to instruct you. They're trying to be good

examples, especially the women. We looked at them for the wisdom

and the how to on something like that so that we can be better

and more like it. It's not surrendering

masculinity, it is integrating femininity into who you are.

And there is a strength there that we have no flipping clue

about. And the more we inform ourselves

on what lives there in those realms, the stronger will be and

the better men will be as well. You've just, well, you've done

two things. You've you, you've, you've shown

why the Radical Joy podcast is so powerful.

Because I just feel like I was listening to an episode of your

show. It's, it's so good.

And, and, and that's, that's you and you are that's the thing I

love about you is that you are unabashedly, unapologetically

you and authenticity again, not that there's not low moments

again for those, you know, there's ups and downs in life,

right? But you are being

unapologetically, unabashedly you.

You are that on the show. And at the same time.

So the second thing, that's the first thing is it's, it's, it's,

it's why your show is so powerful.

The second thing is you just literally summed up why he

changed. It exists.

It that is exactly what the the whole purpose of this thing is.

It's it's so guys who everybody has a phone.

Everybody has what if at when you're going through these

things, when you're pondering these things, when, when the

water is coming over the, over the bow of the boat, What if you

had a tool that you could immediately go to?

And if you want to be anonymous, you can be anonymous if you want

to go in and just, you know, maybe there's, you find your

tribe in there. Maybe there's two or three

people that you kind of connect with or whatever, and they're a

mastermind group for you. There are those people who can,

who, who can help be that person who can give, like you said,

light as a feather. It's light as a feather.

Hearing what somebody's going through and being able to kind

of give, you know, honest feedback and, and again, get

that you're not alone. Well, guess what?

That's what exactly what he changed is trying to build.

And you just made the case for why, why they're trying to build

it and why it's so needed. And Speaking of which, your

podcast is needed. I, I, I, I, I can't tell you,

James, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the fact that

your particular sunbeam is shining on this planet right

now. It, it is.

And, and again, I, it's not to blow smoke.

It's not, it's, it's so necessary.

And sometimes the people with the voices that are willing to

speak a little bit louder or a little bit different or a little

bit different of a vocabulary are the ones who are going to

help make change for people. You are, man, you're at the top

of that list. And I can't tell you how much I

like again, we know we're both podcasters.

We know how slippery time is. It's already, we're already

there. I can't wait for the next time.

I'm I'm you're, you're going to come back.

I'm, I'm, I'm demanding that you're going to come back.

I'm. Looking forward to having you on

Radical Joy as well. This is going to be I can't

wait. That way I can, I can glow on

you, oh 'cause you have just like God the ego stroke I have

received in this hour for the love of all this whole I'm like,

jeez, I'm not going to be able to go to sleep for a while now.

I'm going to have to like, strut around the block a moment.

So, so, so when people other than if they want to, you know,

come to the Netherlands and find your block as to that you're

strutting around, how do people find you?

Like, like radical joy? Obviously it's on all the

podcast platforms. Do you do you do a social media

presence as well or is basically everything that you do kind of

through the through the the podcast?

I do a social media presence as well on Instagram.

It's James E Bullard and that's I'll send it to you.

So if we want to add it to the show notes or what have you,

it's there because I also do coaching.

Like something that you mentioned earlier before is like

most men don't know what they want.

That's exactly what I do. I do strategic planning and

identity clarification because a lot of men are stuck on cruise

control. They're very successful in a

monetary position in definitions of life set by others on their

lives, and they still have this feeling of emptiness or

loneliness or whatever. OK, if you're ready to make some

sort of change, you need to figure out what it is you want.

And most men, most like high percentage don't know what that

even looks like, don't even know where to start.

So we work together to figure that out.

We figure out what you don't want because a lot of people

know that we flip it and then we refine it to figure out what it

is you do want. And we make small consistent

steps together so that you can sort of like make easy steps

toward it. Consistent, but not these giant

leaps. Giant leaps don't get you

anywhere because you can hurt yourself whenever you land.

Small, consistent steps toward a goal are the way to do it

because small steps every single day will get you there.

It just may not feel as quick as you'd want it.

Impatient party of one. But that's what I do.

I just help people figure out what it is they want, make steps

to do it, and then I cheerlead aggressively in their corner,

tell them what they're doing right, tell them what they're

doing that could use some improvement or some

clarification or perhaps just a little tweak and direction, and

away we go. Just listening to you, I mean,

like I think about Doctor Stephen Covey talking about, you

know, reactive language versus proactive language.

You know, I focus on what they're great at.

I cheerlead that. And then I where they, I help

them improve where they're improving because again, I don't

suck at something. I just, I'm improving everyday.

I'm getting better at this. And that's that, that's that

proactive language that that if we just change the way that we

just looked at things just a little bit, like you said, just

a little bit from reactive to proactive, that's going to put

us on a completely different trajectory.

So if people want to look towards that is the best place

to find you on social media for that or is there if you have a

website that you want? To that too, you can go to

www.jamesbullard.com or you can go on Instagram to James E

Bullard and find me there because I'm everywhere.

I'm kind of like Santa Claus and plus it's really easy to spot me

because you're going to hear the southern twang, you're going to

see a ridiculous shirt, this big stupid pompadour.

Like so many things just go into the bucket of Bullard.

It's not like I'm hard to find. I'm.

Glad you're not. I'm glad you're not.

Like I really, really am. I'm so glad.

Thank you for being in this world.

Thank you for taking the shine that you feel inside and trying

to give it to others personally, professionally in the podcast.

James, it has been an absolute pleasure having you today.

I can't wait for the next steps. And yeah, thank you so much for

being on he cast today. It's been my pleasure.

Thank you, Mike. Wishing you the best.

That's why we do the show, everybody.

This is exactly why we do the show.

This is 100% example as to why we do the show.

Wherever you're at right now, please know that you're not

alone. And if you haven't downloaded

the He Changed It app yet, go to hechangedit.com.

Check it on out, see what's there.

Whatever your technological persuasion is, we've got

something for you. This has been another episode of

He cast the official podcast of He Changed It.

My name is Mike Chisholm. Go change something.