Travis Saunders on Survival, Music, and Choices That Changed His Life

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Welcome to Heat Cast, the official podcast of He Changed

It. As always, I am Mike Chisholm as

always. I am so excited to be here and

to talk about the world of men's mental Wellness in all of the

facets and pathways that we explore in that topic.

Obviously, we are the official podcast of He Changed It.

If you haven't downloaded the He Changed It app, what are you

Waiting for? It has never looked better.

Things are happening behind the scenes.

It's, I know I'm a broken record when it comes to that, but it's

just really exciting to watch this thing grow.

And at the end of the day, you know he changed.

It is the first men's mental Wellness platform that has been

created and we're incredibly proud of of what's been

happening and what is going to happen now.

We have been in partnership for some special episodes of he cast

with a company called Telus for the Canadians.

You know what Telus is for other people around the world, you

might not necessarily know who they are.

Telus is a massive, massive communications company in

Canada. Cell phone provider, broadcast

television provider, massive Internet provider.

And we went into and did a very cool program with Telus and in

it the result was 5 amazing episodes of he cast, which we

are now going to put out on our platform here.

The episodes are with a band, The band is called Proper Man

and a proper man is a local band from Kelowna, BC and all five

members have a story. The entire band has a story.

And so as a narrative, all five episodes tie in together kind of

like Voltron, you know a whole bunch of robots coming together

to make one super robot, kind of like that.

Each episode is amazing and I'm so proud of the work that we

have done. I'm so proud to be friends with

these guys and it's a pretty special story.

So without further ado, he cast the official podcast of He

Changed It would like to present a proper Man the he Cast

Conversations. Welcome to He cast the official

podcast of He Changed It As always.

I am Mike Chisholm as always. I'm so excited to be here.

It's a broken record, but guess what?

It is 100% authentic. I am excited to be here.

I'm excited to be part of this to watch He Changed It grow.

If you haven't downloaded the He Changed It app yet, what are you

waiting for? Grab it.

It's super cool already and you ain't seen nothing yet.

It's moving forward and there's lots of cool things happening

with and that he changed the world.

Go to hechangedit.com for more details.

Now the proper man conversations.

Travis Saunders, the keyboard player, massive music producer

and with a story that I was not prepared for.

I knew I was going to sit down with Travis and and and the cool

thing about Travis is he is like I say he's a big in the music.

I'm big in the music and I knew it was going to be a great

conversation. I know he's been through some

stuff. I had no idea the depth and

breadth of what Travis has been through.

And and I mean here's a guy who has it's safe to say been to the

edge, peered over the edge, in fact might have hungover the

edge and come back. He's the 1st to admit that there

is a lot of people who have been over that edge and and haven't

survived it. And and I just you talk about

this grateful guy and this guy that just really, really he's

got a special special heart that will become obvious the moment

you start listening to Travis talk.

And this story is just a powerful one.

I just appreciate him so much for being as vulnerable as he

is, as he was. And and please share these

episodes and this is one in particular that if it hits your

heart, please share it out there.

There are guys that will hear this, hear this message and they

will pull back from their particular edge that they're on.

I just appreciate Travis Saunders so much.

So without further ado, he cast the official podcast of He

Changed It, presenting the Proper Man Conversations, Travis

Saunders. Travis is definitely the

eccentric, crazy, creative one. I think some people that don't

know everybody in the band, they they are led to believe that is

potentially me. It's not.

Travis is much more of a creative mind, eccentric beast

than I I can ever be. He's a producer.

He's produced probably, I would say, hundreds of bands in the

scene. He's been noted in Canada for

his producing. He's a very, very talented

person and a very beautiful person.

He's helped a lot of young bands back in the days where sorry to

all you bands out there, but a lot of bands were quite shitty.

He'd make them good and they all know what I'm talking about.

They'd come into the studio and Travis would clean them up and

give them hope, and that's what it's all about, right?

And then they got better. Now a lot of those guys are in

great bands. So Travis is a very a very

important person to the music industry I think in in in BC and

and very noted in in Kelowna and proper man he does record the

stuff, he produces it. I'm the irritating guy on his

side and I'll call it Co producing or being irritating

and he's just nice to me. So we do a lot of stuff together

in the studio and he's yeah, I'm very happy when he first came

into proper man. He's got a very busy mind and

he's got a like a love, hate with music.

So you don't want to overwork Travis.

You've got to keep that balance. And I didn't know if being in a

band would be good for him. And it turns out it's been a

very beautiful thing for him, for all of us.

And I think it's also the connection and the friendship

and and putting it all that together into one.

One thing. So yeah, Travis.

Very unique. Wait to interview him.

Best of luck. OK, Travis, what's your name in

the band? Bani Bani Well, Ashley Bannister

actually. Ashley.

Bannister name is Ashley Bannister, yeah.

Ashley Where did that come? From when we were recording one

day when I first joined Proper Man, I looked up just like

Proper Man on and images on like Google.

Yeah, and this picture of this guy with his huge mustache, he

looked nothing like me came up and his name was Ashley

Bannister. He's the proper man of the week.

So And then from then on for some reason they called me him,

and then just came down to banning and banning stuff.

Now. OK, so I love the idea of the

alter egos. It's it's it's it's cool.

You know, I I remarked to you, this is the first time I've.

I've never seen you in a suit, right.

Yeah, the first time today. Like like these alter egos.

Yeah. You dress you come in.

It's a different. It's a different mindset, yeah,

for. Sure.

Who is Who is Banny compared to who is Travis?

I don't. Banny's a little bit crazier.

Maybe he's he's a guy who can just totally let free or let let

loose and be free when he plays music.

Yeah, because when you play in proper, man.

When I play in proper man, well, all the guys I'm sure, right?

But when I play in proper man, it's just you just kind of just

forget everything and you would just totally get into the music

and you just but I don't know it's like I'm I'm like whatever

I am, how I am when I'm not banning.

But when I'm banning I don't think about it as like a

transformation I but it's just that's the guy that plays with

proper man who's just really into the music.

Yeah. Well, and you are really into

music. Yeah, yeah.

But sure. Music is my life, right?

Yeah. Yeah, it always has been.

Let's talk about that. Like, when did you start with

music? Has it always been keyboards?

Yeah, it's always kind of been keyboards.

I started when I was like 3 or 4 playing the piano.

Yeah, And I was taught all by ear just on the Suzuki method.

And then I went to Royal Conservatory and stuff like

that. So I did my piano, piano degree

and stuff like that. But then I then I wanted to join

a band when I was older and piano wasn't cool enough.

So I decided to learn how to play the guitar.

Yeah, so I learned how to play the guitar.

And then my sister had a drum set, so I learned how to play

that. And then kind of just morphed

into everything. Where'd you grow up in Black

Mountain? In Kelowna?

Yeah. I'm a black Mountain kid too.

Nice. That's that's amazing.

Yeah. Where did you grow up?

Lund Rd. My parents are still up on

Lundbrick. Awesome.

Yeah, I grew up on Lindbrick and then then we moved to Gallagher

Rd. By the old school's Friday.

Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, I know.

That's my old stomping grounds. Very, very, very cool.

Did you go there to the school? There.

Yeah, I went there from grades kindergarten to three, Blackland

Elementary. And then I went to the Christian

School, Heritage Christian School for 4:00 to 10:00.

And then I went to Rowland for 11:00 and 12:00.

Was you know you hear a lot of people who who end up in

Christian schools and and then have sort of that background or

whatever and and music becomes a thing either you're playing in

church or piano lesson. A lot of, a lot of kids like

that. That's where they end up into

music, was that. You.

Yeah, yeah, a little bit. I guess.

It's like, that's where I cut my teeth on the drums.

I'll just kind of thrown into it and play at church every Sunday.

So drums too. Yeah, yeah, So.

So I sort of played play Church of Drums, and then that just

turned into me learning more drums and everything.

But I play every week for like years and years.

I love, I love this at church. I love the story of proper man

with the drummers. Yeah.

And how many drums, Yeah. How much influence is there?

For sure and that. But that's the thing though,

like like Justin can play better with his feet, then like he

makes me and Jay look like we have no hands when he plays.

And more good drummers, I'm better than Jay, but.

I love, oh, I love hearing that. That's great.

Yeah, no, no, no. Jay can do it.

He's he's like 80s double kick pedal, yeah, twirl the sticks.

I'm not as good as stick Twirler, but I don't know no.

But yeah, it is. We all got to.

Be good at something I. Suppose because we're like

ruthless with with drumming, right.

Because we can both play drums. If we don't have a good drummer,

then it's like, oh, well, yeah, it'd be like a Foo Fighters

thing, right. Like Dave Grohl replaced the

drums. That what's his name did on the

color and the shape, right. William Goldsmith, he's a great

drummer from Sanity Real estate. But Dave Grohl's better so and

he he knew what he wanted and it's like that.

But that's what Justin brings to the to the band is that he does

everything that we want and more and does better and quicker,

right. So.

There's a there's a quote my, my, a good friend of mine when

when Taylor Hawkins from the Foo Fighters passed away, what he

said and we both huge music fans from similar eras as well.

I mean, Taylor Hawkins was the only guy that the public would

accept to back up Dave Grohl in a band.

Exactly right, you. Know and and I feel a little bit

of that whatever the sentiment that comes with that statement,

I feel a little bit of that with Justin, with you guys.

Yeah, for sure. It's like he's a similar sort of

thing, right? He.

Just feels like the right guy. He hits so hard and his

personality is so big and strong.

You know, he's the killer. He's the killer of the band,

like he's just. I named it that.

Did you name it Killer? There it is.

Yeah, they were talking about naming him Sweet Pea or like QD

something. Or I was like the hell.

That's not not named for a driver.

He's a goddamn killer. Yeah.

So yeah. I love the camaraderie with you

guys. I love that you're all.

I mean he's the he's the baby of the group.

But but I love how how you guys are in this.

You know kind of similar place, a lot of similar mindsets.

When did you start with proper, man?

What's your role with? I mean obviously you're the

keyboard player, things like that, but I know it's a lot

bigger than that. What's your role in proper man?

Well, yeah, I was leaving Vancouver and independently

producing like there because I yeah, Long story short, yeah, I

was. But I decided to move back to

the Okanogan because, like, producing records is burning me

out. And I came back here and James

is like, hey, yeah, we got this new band that me and Petrie are

doing and when you play some keyboards on it did.

You know him? Yeah, I knew him back from like

2001 or two, the only for like, yeah, around 20 years.

But I produced a record for his old band called Glasshead and

did a few other random songs and projects.

But yeah, I recorded Daydreams on Jupiter with Jay and

Glasshead, but he was doing that.

So that's how we met. And then we got a less touch for

a little bit because this life and everything, right?

But when it came back then, yeah, he asked me to come and

just play keyboards on one track.

And that led into me living at his house for two weeks and

playing keyboards on like 10 tracks.

And then it's kind of in the band.

So you were in the record business in Vancouver, which is,

which has a thriving music industry.

Tough, tough business to be in. No, totally.

Yeah, it's. It's for a variety of reasons.

Chaotic and insane. And it's like, I don't know,

it's a lot of work to do stuff like that.

Because he used to run a studio in Black Mountain.

Actually, when I first started I just got a bunch of gear.

My parents give me the option of either going to recording school

or my dad would just lend me a bunch of money to buy equipment

and didn't know how to use. So I took the second option and

read a bunch of books and made a lot of really bad recordings.

And then it turned into me just like randomly doing it full

time. And it's like my career for like

15 years. A very handy skill set to have

improper meaning to have an actual bonafide producers,

that's. Been very handy.

Yeah, like like the guys don't know how much they owe me.

Just kidding. But no, no, no.

It has come at because I produce all proper man stuff, you know,

right to date until I get fired and move on to someone better.

But we'll see what happens. But yeah, I know it's really

cool, but it's like, it's probably not easy to be in a

band with me sometimes because I'm used to had have my fingers

in everything, right? Every part of the process.

Yeah, they just like from producing, yeah.

But I mean, it's turned out pretty good so far, I think.

Absolutely. So yeah, yeah, I know.

I really enjoy that aspect of being able to work with everyone

and bring the songs to life. Not that on the reason the songs

come to life, but you know what I mean?

Right? Yeah.

Yeah. So it's like, it's really fun

because I like control. I'm not a control freak, but

with music, I'm a complete control freak where it needs to

be the certain way that it has to be right.

It has to have a sound too. Yeah, yeah.

I think that like any any musician work there like wait

and salt or whatever is, is the same way.

Or at least they should be the same way.

They have something that they want, that they're striving

towards. And yeah, I just spent lots of

years in the studio doing doing that with just random bands,

right. And my own projects and stuff,

right. And that's how me and Jay went.

Sorry to bring that full circle. That's how me and Jay met is

because I was producing, producing music full time.

And met Jay and he's well, talk about control freaks.

Jay is a control freak. Yeah, you should have seen him

when I first met him. He's he was just like into

everything, just like like making sure everyone did all

this stuff and I was like, man, I don't even need to be here,

just push a button. It's like Jay's producing it.

Well, it's funny because, I mean, you all, every single

member of this band are leaders in some way, you know, in, in an

aspect, one or two aspects of their life in one way or

another. A lot of leaders.

Has it ever been difficult getting all these personalities

together to collaborate? Has that ever?

Been actually, no. And that's like a shocker

really, because because like bands has always banned politics

and stuff going on. But probably man's been the

easiest band that I've ever been a part of by far because

everyone just kind of like knows their place and does their

stuff. And we're very open with how we

communicate with music and everything.

So yeah, it's like and that's what Jay said from the very

beginning. He always wanted it to be a very

easy, easy band to be in. Then he accomplished that in

spades. It's like, at first it's like,

we just jam every week, right? With no, we didn't know what

we're doing. We're just like writing songs,

recording, and just like, like rehearsing for this place.

I guess eventually, right? Because he always had the vision

to build this right. Did you ever see that vision?

Did you ever say, OK, yeah, I I see it happening?

Or was it always a pipe dream? He talked to me about it and

Jay's crazy with his ideas, so I didn't put it past him to make

it. They come to like, become a

reality. But I didn't know it was going

to be this cool and big and everything because yeah, it's

literally the best band to be in.

Because we have every opportunity, like like presented

to us where it's like. And it doesn't mean that all of

a sudden we don't have to work hard and do everything because

there's so much like like further that we can go.

But definitely, what Jay's done for the band is monumental,

Yeah. Is there anything that you

produced in when when you were doing it professionally down in

Vancouver in the music scene? Is there anything that you

produce that that you love to throw out there?

Oh, I'm so proud that I did this.

This is something that I loved. That's being a.

Part of, right? Yeah, Yeah.

There's like a lot of records that I did like in the old, like

early 2000s Cologne scene. I produced Stutterfly.

So they were like the end at the end of getting signed to

Maverick Records and stuff like that.

And then from there there's like the Bleeding Alarm and I don't

even know, like Danny Lovelock. There's there.

I did like hundreds of records over the course of like 10

years. And yeah, like a lot of them

like, like had some success on some level, you know.

But yeah, it's like Bleeding Alarm turned into Secret

Whisper. Sorry, not.

Well, the Bleeding Alarm instead of Fly turned into Secret

Whisper and they were there and they like were on a Tooth and

Nail records and it did record for them and stuff.

But yeah, it's like, for some reason guys came to me to do

like the hardcore records. Yeah, because I like having

music, but I like melody at the same time, right, Right.

Yeah. So it's kind of funny that it's

recording all these screening bands, but it's able to bring an

aspect of Melody into the their stuff.

I think about some of the producers that have have made

some of the the best, you know, hard music albums and they all

have massive, massive quality and depth.

Totally. And that's, I think that's what

makes, you know, Yeah, yeah, that's.

It's fascinating to me to to use technology to build a song,

right. You know and stuff.

It's like back in the day like well it's when I was young I

just had a four track tape recorder and that's how I cut my

teeth on recording. I'd get like 1216 tracks.

I'd just 4 tracks by bouncing, layering.

After I graduated, I I like I I just spent like a year in my

room on my 4 track recorder and I was like you got to get a job

what are you doing? You're doing this music all day,

but then he's the one that's like, hey, if you want to do

this, I'll support you in anything you want to do and.

How amazing. Is that.

Oh yeah, I know. I'm very, very fortunate to have

had the parents that I had to. To just support.

Me. Whatever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because my dad's a pretty like,

like he can very hands on, he can build anything, fix

anything, do stuff like that. He's actually a great musician

as well. But he told me when I was

younger, He's like, he's like, I know you're not like me and but

I I accept that and I realized that and it's amazing and I'll

support you in anything you want to do, right.

So they just like, allowed me to pursue music as much as I

wanted. You're a parent.

Yeah, yeah, my parents did. Yeah, no, no, but you are a.

Parent. Oh yes, I have a parent as well.

Yeah, yeah, I've got a 21 year old son named Josh.

Wow. Yeah, he's going to school now,

actually in Victoria for a video production.

You got a 21 year old video production, so and funny that,

not funny, but you know similar. The apple doesn't fall far from

the tree. Yeah, totally.

Yeah, for sure. And did you give him that same

what your dad gave you in that freedom?

Yeah, 100% You. You were the same.

Yeah, the same opportunity, right?

Yeah. It's like, I just want him to be

happy and and pursue whatever he wants to, right?

He actually went into school for Accounting 1st and then just

found out that it wasn't for him.

But yeah, well, that's what life's all about, is doing what

you want him. That makes you happy, right?

That's what I think, man. Well, and and this is part of

the reason why he changed, it exists as we've got this.

You know, there's a, there's a, there's an entire almost.

It's a generation and then there's the generation before

and the generation after who are affected by this generation.

But there's this generation of guys who many of which, and I

think this will ring true to you.

I mean you grew up in similar geographic areas for sure.

I mean, you know, where guys were kind of told OK, either go

to school, you know, get a get a good job with some good

benefits, you know, connect the dots that that that that we want

you to connect that society tells you to.

Connect. Yeah, exactly.

And then you end up later on in life not being fulfilled and not

knowing why. We wonder why there's so many,

you know, mental health issues out there, and it's because guys

aren't necessarily living their purpose.

Exactly. Yeah, for sure.

So, So yeah, I'm very grateful that my parents gave me the

opportunity to do. They supported me and whatever I

wanted to do, it was hockey. Hockey took away from my music a

lot of the time, right? Playing rap and and traveling

all the time and stuff. But yeah, yeah, just to have

that freedom that my parents supporting whatever, like they

never once said you need to go to college, you need to get this

degree. It's like I went to music

college, right, And got my degree in piano.

But like, but that was that was my choice And it was never like

hey, you need to doctor or something or like anything like

that. They just totally just like open

the door and be like, hey do whatever you want to.

And that was a crazy amount of freedom and led me into the

crazy music industry. Which at times get super crazy

and like just whatever, right? It's like it's a different,

different lifestyle recording bands because bed bands are on

vacation whenever they come to work with you, right?

Most of them have day jobs around there, right?

Than they. So it's a pretty big party

scene. Yeah, I was going to, I was

going to say, probably learn a lot of lessons.

Yeah, totally. Yeah.

Wish I never would have learned, but yeah.

Like what? What's some things?

Oh, just like getting into substances and stuff like that.

And yeah, things like that. That it's like Zagreb, straight

edge in the church. And then when I when I started

to record, it's like be like I never even touched alcohol till

I was 21 and everything like that because I was super

strange. But it's like I definitely

made-up for lost time with bands, jumped into the deep.

Yeah. And that's not something that,

that I'm like stoked or proud to say, right.

You know, it's like, it's just, it's just the way that my life

went and I was a little bit naive to a lot of stuff because

I was so sheltered as a kid, right?

And and then that's the thing. I grew up, I had all the freedom

I wanted, like like when I was in my late teens and stuff with

my parents with what they led me to do.

But they totally sheltered me from everything.

And I'm very thankful for it at the same time.

And I think it wasn't the right thing at sometimes, right?

Because because it protects you from everything and then also

you're thrown into it, right? So, OK, I'm just doing a little

bit of quick math in my head and bear with me because I'm not

very good at math. So you got a 21 year old and you

were in the music business during his formative years?

Yeah, yeah. That's when I started the

studio. Well, he did something, Didn't

really get into it till like a few years down the road, right

when I started to do bigger bands and and like everything, I

did it full time. I didn't know what I was doing.

It's the only reason that I got into recording in the 1st place

was because I wanted to. I wanted to make better

recordings of my own music and the four track recorder wasn't

cutting it. So I was like, OK, well if I can

figure out that, I can figure out something else.

So yeah, I just kind of just like like Dovin Head 1st and did

that and then it kind of grew from there with with the

production and the bands like that.

And then, yeah. And then you start to work with

all sorts of characters in the music industry, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

And stuff like that. Like, thankfully that's all

behind me now, right? What did you do to get it behind

you? Was it just a wake up call one

day? Was there actual like, did did

professionals have to get involved?

And yeah. Well it's like how much time you

got. That's a that's a that's a huge

story, right? Because like, well, I it's a

proper man was like the start of me kind of coming out of all

that stuff because I I was producing full time.

Like like, yeah, yeah, I know 100% like I was producing full

time like six days a week, spending 10 hours a day in the

studio. My entire life was was just like

kind of passing me by. It seemed like because I was

living as I was enjoying it but it was just all consuming.

It's like when you produce a record it's all you think about.

And and I was married at the time back then and that that.

It's like that marriage with the way the dinosaur and I was

living in Vancouver. Something's got to give.

Yeah. And I was just like Ki got to

change something. So I was like, I'm going to just

take a step back from producing and come back here and it's

like, yeah, it's like, but I just like made a conscious

decision to to stop. But like, like like partying

like that. Because it was, it was like a

lot of things I'm allowed to say substances on the air or

whatever. But yeah, yeah, I know.

It's like, it's it's pretty crazy because I started to get

mental issues. Well, some people would say now

I still have mental issues, but not only good ones, right?

But no, it's like back then it's like I was, I was, I was seeing

a psychiatrist and I was just like getting thrown rooftop

doses of like benzos, like clonazepam and Xanax and Valium.

I was only like, serious rooftop doses of those ones.

It's weird if we didn't talk about this now because it seems

like a lifetime ago, right? But I was also addicted to

Oxycontin because I had three shoulder surgeries and then and

and I was all prescribed by my doctor.

But I was like, I was like super deep into Oxy.

You said the worst thing in the world.

That's like the fucking devil. Sorry.

No, no, no, that's OK. I swear but but no, it's like

and rooftop doses of clasp and I shouldn't even be alive right

now with all the medication as being like like prescribed.

OK, coming off that must have also been a journey too, because

you know, that's your body gets the tolerance levels, goes up

and gets used to it. The addictive qualities, never

mind any of that stuff. And wow, so you made a decision.

Yeah, because I knew that and it was going to kill me.

Yeah. And that's where kind of proper

man ties in because when I first moved back from Vancouver, I

was, I was insanely addicted to Oxycontin and and and like

Valium and Xanax and all all that sort of stuff.

And I just quit the Valium, Xanax, cold Turkey and then and

then went on like methadone to get off of Oxy, Oxycontin.

But it was like literally a year and a half of like, not

sleeping, not anything. It's like and that's when I

first reconnected with Jay is when I came back here and he was

like such a like like a help to me with that.

Because he just like opened his house up to me.

And I remember countless nights at his old place just like this,

being awake and totally withdrawing and stuff.

Because even after you get over withdrawals and do stuff, it

still effects you mentally right?

But I just decided that I want to go cold Turkey off of off of

benzos and then we myself down like like 10 times quicker than

the doctors thought that I could have like with methadone from

the Oxycontin because. Because I wanted to get off it

so bad. Right.

So I did that and and the doctor kept saying no, no, you can't,

you can't cut off this that that quickly.

You're going to fail. You're just going to relapse

stuff. But I I did it.

The doctor said you're going to relapse.

Because of because I, because I asked him to cut, cut down like

like the methadone so fast. Yeah, it's weird for me to talk

about this, especially on camera, because people are going

to think I'm. Fucking crazy.

No, no, no. Because there's OK.

I mean you know we're talking about he changed it and all this

and and and we're doing this special he cast a presentation

on proper men. Right.

Focusing on on all of you. But we have done you know quite

a few podcasts with people like there's this group called Mom

Stop the Harm and and and and it's it's about exactly what

you're talking about. Goosebumps, as you're saying

this because there are so many people but but men in general,

there's so many men. That and it and and for many of

them it started from a shoulder injury.

It started. From.

And then they end up and and and and you know, they end up going

through the medical system. The medical system then says,

OK, well now it's time to stop. Yeah, exactly.

And then you're like, what the hell?

And they go on the street. Yeah, exactly.

And I'm I'm very thankful that I didn't.

I had friends that I knew that end up then going to heroin and

stuff like that, but. And right now, with heroin, you

look at fentanyl, the fentanyl crisis.

Totally. And people are being, and it's

not even overdosing, it's being poisoned.

Like like there's a lot of dudes right now that, as you started

talking about this, have perked up.

Yeah, No, totally because. Many of them are in denial.

Many of them have families. Like, it's not the, it's not the

stereotypical person that that you would think, Like when you

and I were growing up and people were saying, Oh yeah, there's a

there's someone who's addicted to drugs on the street.

The profile of that person was given totally different, right?

Yeah, completely. And there's a stereotype there

and all of that. But there's a lot of guys that

are quietly, you know, you talk about people who are closet

Alcoholics. There's a lot of closet drug

dealer or drug users. Out there for.

Sure. And and and you talking about

this, like from what I'm hearing, Travis, it's like, you

know, you hear the, the phrase, there's nothing more powerful

than a made-up mind. Yeah, right.

Yeah, totally. And you defied.

That's the thing. Yeah, exactly right.

It's like I decided that that wasn't going to be the rest of

my life, right? What's What made you What is?

I apologize, But what? What made you get over the hump

just to make that decision, to say no, I want to make the

change. Was there an event that

happened? Was it something where you just

woke up one day and you're like, no, I need to, I need to change

this. Well, well, the first event with

Oxy is that I went to my doctor and he said I'm getting audited

by the pharmaceutical board here and we could guy got to cut

everyone off because I guess he was prescribing over prescribing

a lot of people, right as as many doctors do.

So then I was like what the heck.

So I got cut down from like like 300, like like milligrams of Oxy

every single day. Like like to.

That's a. Lot, right.

Yeah. That's.

That's like a lot. It's like, and if you mix those

as benzos, it's like that's what stops your respiratory system

when you can die. It's like my friends like, like,

like that you're totally going to die.

And I was like, what? I'm invincible.

But, but but yeah, it's like the whole thing started because

because I couldn't get get Oxy pro pain anymore.

And then I moved to Vancouver and I and I was still in music

industry and stuff like that. But then it's functioning.

Yeah, exactly. But then it's like just came to

the point I was like, hey, I got to just stop all this stuff.

So that's when I quit Benzos cold Turkey.

Worst idea ever. And but but anyways it's like I

just knew that I had to make a change or nothing was going to

happen. But that's the messed up thing.

It was very scary because I was put on on Benzos because like,

well, I have maybe I had or do don't have any more.

If it's different now it's different but I've got like I

had an anxiety disorder, right? Like severe anxiety.

That's why they threw Claspan at me and stuff like that.

I just kept going up and up and up and it worked but turned me

into a zombie right. I was just like just waking up

and sedating myself every day right.

And so and and and I continued on like I was still prescribed

like all the Benzos after after like like I stopped Oxy, right.

And was getting off that. But it's like I was just like

why the hell am I selling these things.

But I didn't realize at the time that I actually needed those for

some sort of a thing before because I was prescribing for a

reason. But I associated them all

together like like like like opiates and and benzos and

everything. That was just one thing that I

just wanted to go away. So yeah, it's like now.

That was, like I said 70 years ago, that it stopped.

And it was, it was hell. I would never stand on where

we're standing. Me, right?

Well, let's talk about the people that that that, that.

I mean, you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy.

Somebody who's hearing this, somebody who maybe hasn't made

that decision yet, they haven't come to grips with where they're

at. I mean, obviously there's a

moment where you came to grips with it.

You realize and. To.

Bull by the horns and with others.

With the support of others, Jay. It sounds like there's people in

your life that Jay. Was huge, supported you.

My family was super huge and everything like that, right?

And it's like, yeah, yeah, I had, I had a really good support

system. But it's like, Jay tells me,

he's like, he's like, you did it yourself.

You had to do it yourself or it never would have happened.

And I was like, well, but I was able to do it myself because I

had like amazing friends like you around and stuff like that,

right? Yeah.

And it, yeah, it wasn't easy, but it's like, I feel like I

names of sounds like I climbed the Mount Everest of like,

problems in my life. If I can get through that, then,

then it's like I look at my life now, playing a proper man and

like like running a teaching studio and and everything.

I'm married again of an amazing wife and amazing step kids and

amazing son myself. Still, it's like I should have

been dead in a ditch like 10 years ago.

Like not a word of life or living on Hastings, whatever,

shooting up. But I never let myself go to

that place because I knew that's where I'd end up and it's made a

decision in my mind, even though I knew I'd have very detrimental

mental effects on my head, Right.

Yeah, It's like because I still have anxiety, so it's like that.

But I'm learning to deal with that in my head as opposed to

getting medicated for it, right? Let's get to the anxiety in a

second because I think it's gotten faster and more complex

and and and and harder. You know, like when we were

growing up, like my my parents, my, my mom was kind of the the

last generation of of the mom that didn't work.

Right, Yeah. That she stayed home, you know

the you know, but we saw that in our lives.

We saw when the breakdown of the marriage of of of so many of our

friends, if it wasn't our parents, our friends, parents

and things like that. You know, two parent households,

latchkey kids, all of that kind of stuff, right?

And it's only gotten more complex since then.

There people if there's anxiety, there's reason to have anxiety.

Now is a good time to do it. But before before we get there

and how you're dealing with it now for guys who might be

dealing with some of the stuff that you're talking about here,

do you have any advice? Do you have any words of wisdom,

anything that that that made you feel more empowered to help you

get through that situation? It's like, well, yeah, that's a

very broad question, right? Sure.

Because there's so many things that that went on in my life,

but I just, I decided one day, it's like, do I want to live my

life? I was always very afraid of

dying, right? And afraid of not being able to

live my life out. And I decided that I want to

live and not die. So you asked yourself that

question. Yeah.

You didn't just think you are invincible?

Do I want to live? Yeah, I used to think I was

invincible when I was. When I was was was kind of deep

in everything, right? And it's like, yeah, the benzos

help with my anxiety, stuff like that.

But I knew I was on to like a downward spiral, right?

Like path to that was going to not end well.

So it's like that was the main thing.

I was like, I want to live my life.

So the awareness of knowing what you wanted, yeah, was big.

Yeah, yeah. And I and I got got a divorce

from my from my other wife then or like we we are separated.

And I was just like I got to make a change here because that

that relationship was whatever it was it was never right in the

1st place. But I was like hey I need to

stop producing because I'm involved in this their scene

that's not helping me do any better right.

So you can't move yourself from the from it.

And and I took a couple of years off of of like like working

essentially and and and and decided OK I'm going to live my

life. I'm going to be an old grandpa

and see my grandkids one day instead of instead of whatever

just living for myself because it's very easy to just stay on

medication that you're given. Right.

It's it's easy UIL. And there I'm sure it helps a

lot of people help me in whatever way that it did.

But it's like too much of a good thing maybe or something.

You know what I mean? But yeah.

Yeah. It's it's like like the main

thing was that I just, I just decided that I didn't that this

what wasn't going to be the rest of my life.

It would have been a short one. It was well, and it was a lot of

work to get to that place. Yeah, exactly.

A lot. Of pain, all of that.

Everything that you went through, every second.

Of of withdrawal, whether it was physical, whether it was

emotional. Yeah.

Was it worth it? Yeah.

Oh, totally. Yeah.

It's like, like I said, I wouldn't wish that I'm a worst

enemy. That was the hardest thing I've

ever done in my life. It's like, but it was worth

every second of it. But it was impossible in time.

It's like the the feelings don't go away.

The lack of sleep doesn't go away.

You just it's the the feelings are indescribable.

And that's what the worst thing about being on Lake Lake Lake

Benzil is that you get so accustomed to it, right, right

and and everything. But it's like I was I had come

down from everything but it was worth every second.

And it's totally possible to do because I'm not on any any

medication like that now because I because I'm not well,

actually. Sorry, I'm on gabapentin, which

is off label. That's like a supplement.

Yeah, it's like off label, like like a treated health food store

for for anxiety, but it's it's for like nerve pain, but it's

used off label for anxiety. But it's not a narcotic or

anything. No, you get that at a health

food store. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, yeah. And that totally changed things

around for me, too. Yeah.

Again, the crazy stuff about how that's helped me because when I

went like cool, took of everything, I got my life back.

But then I started to feel my mind start, start to go away,

right? And I would, I would like, yeah,

I don't even know if you want to get into random stuff.

Whatever you want. Absolutely no, no, no.

No. Yeah it's it's pretty crazy

stuff but I would like start to block out and and like I

wouldn't remember things and it didn't know.

It's like I would just like almost lose my mind because I've

got a very overactive imagination or mind where like

like I can't control my mind sometimes.

That's how the benzos help me, right?

Is because I was able to, is because they calm me.

Down and you could kind of focus.

It yeah and but it's like, but when I went off of them then I

started to get back to normal but then I started my mind

started just go crazy. They don't even know where it

actually went. And and it just in the past

couple years I've been able to kind of get that under control.

Under control, which it it scares me a little bit because,

but it doesn't because I know that that where I'm at now is

exactly where I need to be. Yeah, man, that makes the.

Journey that makes Yeah you've the journey you have taken is.

Yeah, it's been crazy. Is is nuts but.

Excuse me? But and and you're teaching now

and all these things and I just want to say thank you for, for

opening up about this stuff because for sure you're also

obviously teaching scratches an itch for you.

Obviously you enjoy that. Yeah, I do for sure.

You know, you're the element of the band.

You know, it's it's not the control part but the creativity

part and being able to. Create.

Yeah. It really is the creativity and

stuff, yeah. So it's cool to see that right

now you're doing that by telling your story.

Yeah. To people who hear this.

Right. So thank you for that.

That that is my. Pleasure.

What a, what a journey. And and now you have anxiety now

and and and obviously there are stepping stones that can lead

down bad paths. Yeah, you've been down those

paths. You've come back and are now

down a different path. Yeah.

How do you deal with anxiety now?

Well, I just deal with it in my head, I guess.

I don't know. It's it's like I I used to like

listen to like podcasts that like calming things like like I

don't know just like noises stuff like that that seems

really weird but it's like I don't know I I was trying to

listen and align my mind down. But one of the ways that I deal

with with anxiety now and if I can say it is, is through a

weed. Yeah, but I don't smoke during

the day at all. But all all they like have a

joint at night and it just like because after teaching like a

bunch of students hope my student's parents don't see

this. But teaching it, it's like

you're elevated. It's like you need, just like

time. And by the way, this is what

it's for. Even before it was

decriminalized, medicinal was fine.

Too, like, yeah, yeah. And I and I didn't say it's like

I've never been like a pot smoker, but I started, I like

over the past like three or four years, I've just just started to

use it as a natural anti anxiety sort of a thing.

And it's, it's totally changed my life, right.

I've got a routine where it's like it's just like it's it's

enabled me to not need the benzos right, which is

phenomenal and stuff. I'm.

Still a bit of like I'm a I'm a case, I guess.

I don't know. You're not.

No, I don't. I don't think so.

I think that's, I think that's how we all are negotiating our

way through life. And but the key here is you're

actually talking about it where so many men.

Yeah. Don't right where we've been

taught not to talk about no sure to quote UN quote man up right

and. It's really weird not even

talking about it, like I didn't think was getting talk about it,

but whatever, it's totally fine obviously, right?

But it's like I didn't help people, but obviously it's like

I don't. I've talked to my wife about in

my family and that's it for me to talk about anything like

this. Now with you, obviously, I know

you bet from here, but it's not like we're old Bros, right?

And I didn't tell you anything. But the reason I'm talking about

is because I feel it's very important because if there's

people that were there, that's a cliche thing to say whatever,

right? But it's totally it's totally

fucking true. If you're if you're in that

stuff, there's a way out of it, and it does.

It doesn't mean that that you're trapped in that thing.

People think their minds are so messed up.

Like try living in mine, like mine for like a couple weeks.

You'll realize how fucking normal you are.

Maybe right. Or maybe.

Or maybe more the same than we than we give.

Ourselves credit for sometimes, Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. But everyone's got issues in

their head. Yes, and and and and they seem

unmanageable or or like impossible to to deal with

because you don't understand it. The problem with the mental mind

in my opinion is that it's it's part of you and it's happening

and it's hard to get outside of the box and be like, no, you

don't need to think this way or it's like recite yourself.

And that was the scariest thing for me, getting off those

things. But I was so I was so like like

drugged up, for lack of a better word when I was in it.

I didn't realize until I get off and I was like, oh, I got to

deal with life in and like I have to actually confront my,

my, my, my mind and my situations and stuff, right.

And but that's a very. Deal with it as opposed to as

opposed to. Ignore it.

Exactly. I'm going to deal with it.

Yeah, because the easiest thing, it's like, oh, I've got anxiety,

I've got all these things. It's like, yeah, just pop a

pill. It's like, yeah, that puts a

Band-Aid on like a open wound. That's not going to heal until

you keep on doing that every single day, right?

And we hide that stuff. Let's see.

That's the difference in what you're doing right now and what

you were doing then. Right now you're not hiding

anything. You talk about no.

Gabba, help me a little bit of pot helps me talking about it

with friends helps me being in the band.

I'm going to get back to the band here in a second too,

because, I mean, I got goosebumps right now.

I'm so glad that we didn't do these interviews with the other

bandmates here. I'm glad we did them separate

because all of you have talked about how this band has helped

with. Other stuff, whatever that other

stuff might might, might be and and and clearly, I mean, you

know, whatever you want to call it.

God, the universe, whatever. As you were going through this,

this, this, this very difficult transition, obviously things of

support, methods of support, tools of support were being

thrown your way. Safe to say I'm not.

I'm not, you know, I'm not putting words in your mouth by

saying proper man is one of the ways that you can help keep your

mind, like focused and like. It's like, it's a very good

possibility that proper man saved my life because like, like

and I'm not saying that that definitely, but it's like

because I was at the crossroads and I just like, hey, I don't

even know what I'm doing, but I'm changing my life.

And that's when Jay came back into my life and that's when

that that's what led me here and to like the best place would

ever be in my life. And I couldn't have.

Well, I don't I can't say I couldn't have done it.

Jay always says yeah it's always you you that did everything.

But I know that that that's the huge reason of why I'm here

because my entire life has shifted and the people you hang

around with right and everything to have to have support of

people like that and like I said my family obviously too and

everything right. But but I don't know where I'd

be if I it wasn't proper man. Because proper man led me down

this path right when I was like at the crossroads, you know, So

yeah, and it allows you. And it allows you, I apologize

for. Interrupt.

No, not all. It allows you to use your gifts

like, yeah, exactly. Like you're not a record

producer anymore, producing in the, you know, life in the fast

lane, in the Bank of our music scene and all that.

But you're producing something that is really precious and

important to you and to and to and to your bandmates and stuff.

So you still get to use those. Yeah, it's exactly.

It's very close to me because I don't produce that much anymore,

but I've found being able to find a balance.

I still do like two or three like records a year in the

summertime when I'm not teaching stuff.

But proper man's always there and it kind of like it.

It gives me the like, the craving that I need to produce

music. I love producing bands, I love

working with music and transforming things and

everything, but proper man gives me the ability to do that

without burning myself out. And so I teach and I do stuff

around there, but I I've got a really good balance in my life

now. And that problem has a huge part

of that. Yeah.

And that's very like top tip of the iceberg sort of thing for me

to say because it goes way deeper than that, right.

But it's it's the guys in proper, man.

It's everything, you know. It's the it's the friendships.

It's I I've got had a stability in my head, which I I know has

helped me kind of get through the like issues that it makes me

calmer in my mind. Like to have this sort of thing

that you and and like guys were like brothers, you know, to like

to work with every, every week or whatever.

You play so many shows and everything, you know, It's like

I'm not just kind of just like lost in a studio somewhere, just

like constantly my mind overblown with the music and and

turning to other things to like turn calm it down.

It's like I've got, I've got balance now and without proper

man, I don't know. That is.

It's huge to me. Yeah.

Profound, yeah. And but it's the guys in proper,

man. It's not just some random band,

right? You know, Like I said, it's like

like like Jay and Christie when they they helped me out.

They opened their house up to me when I was at the lowest point

of my life because I felt like I was crazy back then.

Like like when I do and quit in the quit in the music industry,

I've got like constantly artists trying to call me to do

something. It's like nice.

I got to do it for me and then to have Jay and Christie kind of

realize I was going through, I wasn't a very good house guest

sometimes, you know, like like I didn't do anything bad.

It tracks their house or anything like that.

But it's like but it's like to help someone.

It's a vulnerable place. Going through it, but yeah,

exactly. But I but I had no one else you

know like like that that that would help me with it.

Right. And without even saying

anything, Jake, to help me like they can spun my life around to

where I'm at now and that's that's something I can never

even think I'm up for, right? Because well you are.

You are. And when you look at the, when

you look at the output of of of creativity that proper man is

we're going to get to blood less in a second here.

But you know, I it's very clear that the priorities of the

bandmates is the lives of the band mates. 1st 900% and.

Then the music is second, but the music I think has a deeper,

richer quality to it because of the priorities of the no, for

sure would you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree.

I agree for sure you've. Seen a lot of bands in your

life? Yeah, Yeah.

You know, and I've never I've I've played playing quite a few

bands and dealt with bands all the time, but I've never been in

a band like Proper Man. It's It is exactly what you

mean, because everyone cares about each other.

We're all like, whatever, a little bit older and like for

now, like 18 year olds trying to conquer the world around me by

going on tour in a van, Right. But dumb.

But yeah, it's definitely, it's a it's a brotherhood, right?

Whatever you want to call it. We're not a cult, though.

No, gosh, but I mean, I wish. I'd be the leader of a cult.

You know, you have this. You know, we talk hockey.

You're also a giant hockey fan. I'm a giant hockey fan.

We both like American teams, even though we were born in

Western Canada. We both like, you're a

Blackhawks guy, I'm a Kings guy. We talk about home ice

advantage. Only modern day dynasty in the

NHL. You can say that.

Well, I don't think the Kings are.

It's funny, yeah. Two cups in, two cups in 10

years. This is a dynasty.

You're 3 and 10. 3:00 and 6:00. Three and six, yeah.

Right, man. Yeah.

No. That's right.

The the Hawks are, you know, Yeah.

They used to be good, never bought.

Them. Well, it's time to.

Sorry, I totally cut you off. Now you loved Debbie Savard

growing up, though. You loved 100%.

Me too. I see.

I loved. I loved.

Makita. Like, great.

Stuff. So that's really when I was

young. But yeah, yes, very Makita and

all the. Don't don't worry, you're not

going down the path, 'cause I got a way to bring it right

back. Don't worry about it like I was

AD young guy. I was AI was a Happy King's man

when he came over. You know, when we were little

kids, I I love the Kings love, love that.

Love being a part of something. I think that's that's that's

huge. Another thing about hockey is

home ice advantage, right. For a band this might be the

greatest pull mice advantage that any band where you know you

got a group of guys who are using this as an outlet.

How important is it to have an outlet?

We've I think we've talked about that.

I mean to any guy who's listening to this what is

something that you're passionate about and go do it.

It doesn't have to be where you're like like you said on a

you know, full time in a van doing it, just having the gigs

that you do. Yeah, scratches, those itches.

How to get these parts of you out, you know, that's just kind

of summing up, bringing it up. But now that being said, Jason

is a guy with all of this crazy vision and he thinks big.

And when he built you this whole mice advantage, this, this, this

cathedral to play your music in, you know, multiple times a

month. How grateful are you for that?

Oh, yeah, Like, isn't this. It's amazing.

It's, it's, it's it's unexplainable, right?

It's like, yeah, but we we talk about it sometimes.

Well, Jane never talks about it. He's like, oh, whatever.

He's like, you know, it's like he, he, he, he brushed off like

it like it's nothing. But I know that he knows what

he's done for us. It's crazy.

It's like huge successful bands who like, like like are big in

North America. It's like that.

They don't have anything like this.

They don't have their own, their own private Speakeasy club they

can play in. Even just the fact that not

having to set up gear, every every show phenomenon like

people bring us water and drinks, it's it's it's a

ridiculous. Right.

And the you got a fan base, Yeah, you got a localized fan

base that's that's that's growing and all of these things

and a catalogue of music that's growing.

We'll talk about Bloodless because gosh, boy, I know that

it was you and and and Jay really that drove the bus on

that one. I love Proper Man's recording

process. It makes sense that you have a,

you know, an Uber producer is helping to help things, right,

Driver? Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess Uber producer is a

different term now that. Yeah, sorry.

No, just. Kidding, Yeah.

The fact that you were that skilled and and and the way that

you know you all do have families.

You all do have jobs and all that.

And how can a band put out quality music like this?

And the way that you record is a little unconventional or the way

that you create music, I should say, is a little bit

unconventional. And how you do it, you wrap it

around your life, your life. 1st.

But at the same time, it really works and the output is

extremely high quality and has a lot of depth to it.

I know a little bit about now I know more about your story.

I think about Bloodless and I think about how powerful of a

song that is, right? Thanks.

I'm happy you feel that way. Oh my God.

Yeah, yeah, that one they well, it's like back like that was

written like 7 years ago, but it wasn't written written.

But back when I said I took a couple years off and I was just

trying to sort of stuff that was first joined proper man.

But I was working on my own solo stuff.

I still do my own solo stuff. This isn't a plug for my my solo

stuff, but. Plug your solo stuff.

How do you plug my solo stuff? Travis Saunders.

Travis Saunders On Spotify? There it is.

Yeah, Slash teleporter. Yeah.

Teleporter, yeah. Yeah.

I've got like four or five songs there.

I work with a really good guy as well and that stuff called

Calvin. Like there.

He's a he's an old guitar player for a proper man, actually,

yeah. And he's a guy that I met back

in my producing days and stuff. But anyways, when I was first

writing stuff, it's like my plan was K I'm going to totally

change my life around and I'm going to release an album.

So. So I just like spent like a long

time like sleepless nights like I said you know like just like

trying to deal with getting my my body clean and stuff and and

I just just like wrote wrote tons and tons of songs and stuff

like that and that and Bloodless was a song that I wrote back in

that era. So it's like like 6-7 years old

the but I could never finish the vocals to it.

I was never happy with what the vocals are and and and Jay we

like we're always going back and forth on music so and I always

send him random ideas. I have he sends me random ideas

he has and stuff like that And like obviously because we're in

a band but I I just randomly threw threw him that one it was

just like the music to it and and he's like hey that's the one

He's like what I wasn't going to send it to you And then and then

he wrote the vocals to it and then we got like like a killer

in slim to come in and like like like we like basically redid it.

But it was an old song that I was planning on just keeping for

myself because I'm a song order Just kidding.

Yeah. OK, So what was the inspiration

behind that at the time of the writing, and how has it changed

since Jay has brought his element?

Well, like, it seems like a very personal song.

Yeah, to. Whoever touched it seems very.

Personal. It was a very, very emotional

song to me, right? It's like I just sat down on the

piano and it's like I scanned by the ground chord progression.

It's kind of I was feeling it then, right?

And but I don't know, it's like see, you could say there's a

part of that and there's a part of the feeling in that song that

is came from me going through my struggles with like getting

getting clean. You know, it's still weird for

me to talk about that, right? It's not like I'm like an ex

fucking drug addict. But it was it's fine.

It's weird for me to talk about it.

But you know what I mean? It's like, but that song it it's

very emotional song for me and I didn't even have the vocals done

and then Jay came in and brought his vocals on it and I've got a

friend of mine, his name's Ty and he's super ruthless.

I always bounce ideas off of him and and I sent like him him the

new blood list. He's like that's the best thing

like Prof Man's ever done. That's like the best melodies

Jay's ever in. I was like, yeah, it is because

he was able to take a musical thing that I put together and I

didn't know where to go with it because I was just like lost in

my head back then, right. Just trying to put out put out

music and Jay totally brought it like to fruition you could say.

And the other guys too sorry it did not yeah like everyone did

their stuff on it but but but the inception of that song was

very I was in a like pretty confused place then right And

like like dark place. I didn't know that it end up

here right. I didn't know anything.

It's just like it's just a it's been a journey man.

It's been a real big journey. Well, and the journey is growing

and continuing and evolving and and and I just want to say thank

you so for so much for opening yourself up of course it's.

My. Pleasure.

As we move to the close here, what do you see for yourself?

What do you see for proper man? What do you see for your family?

What do you see for? You as you as you move.

Forward and like, are you just taking it?

What are you taking it really? Is one day at a time.

There you go. Yeah.

It's like it's like it's funny when you're when when you're on

like medication. If I call it medication, that

helps you with your mind. It's it's not a stick with

sticks with you forever. You always think about it when

we start dealing with stuff, it's like, oh, I wish I had that

like even now. Right.

But it's it is one day at a time just like like dealing with

stuff and being and and being sober off that.

You know what I mean? So obviously proper man drinks

and stuff like that but that. But that's the other side of the

coin. But you know what I mean?

But it's like my family's definitely helped me to get to

that. Like my wife is incredible and

she's supportive. She's dealt with Crazy Travis

more times than I can count. If I was here I might have hit

the road right. But she's she's reason that I'm

actually here doing this right now because it's like she's

totally changed my life. Yeah, we just got married last

year and we've only been together for a few years.

But she came through at the last part when I was dealing with

stuff that I didn't know how to deal with.

And stuff has getting like that sinus infection that's putting

pressure on my brain and I have surgery for and things are just

like almost like totally off the fucking rails again.

But it wasn't through medication is because it was because I just

asked that part of my life. But yeah, sorry, like where I

see myself, just keep on, No? No, no.

But. But hold on because because guys

who are hearing this too many times, they hide this stuff away

from, right? Who's the number one person they

hide this stuff from? Their spouse.

Right. Yeah, totally.

Yeah. And and and and, and you're

making a very, very good case for about being transparent.

You know, the freedom that comes with being able to be

transparent with these people that are in your life.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Because it's very difficult. I imagine it'd be very difficult

to do it alone, right? To get through that stuff right

and and life's a motherfucker, right?

Still still going to. It's still it comes at you every

day, right? But if you can deal with it

every day, then everything's good.

So I just focus on on the daily thing like and really a lot of

gratitude graduate. I can wake up with like a like a

wife and a family and like an amazing son and and and like

like a career and job and proper man.

It's like I remind myself those things every morning and yeah.

Like, do you, like, in the shower?

In the shower. OK.

Yeah. In the shower I constantly think

about like where I'm at and and how like messed up it is that

I'm actually here because I never thought that I'd be in a

place like this and it it kind of resets your brain and makes

you like not it like like keeps you in check so you're not like

Oh no. I just want to go do whatever

and stuff like that and it and you realize stuff like that when

you're dealing with things mentally right and what you have

and like moving forward right. It's like proper man.

I just want to keep on making the best songs we can and keep

on moving forward and conquer the world, right?

I know that's what Jay wants, his world domination.

I want that too. We've got the we've got the

talent and we got the songs. Maybe we need a new producer.

Maybe the producer's holding us. Back.

I don't think so. But you know what I mean?

It's like, it's like I just, it's.

I'm just so thankful that I'm at the state of my life now that

things can only get better because I know they'll never get

worse again. Because I was able to.

I was able to beat the dragon, right?

Or whatever you call it. Gratitude is a silver bullet,

isn't it? Totally.

Like like, Gaba's great and and some of these other things are

great, but you want to. You want to get rid of anxiety?

Spend 1/2 hour focusing on the things that you're grateful.

For I'm a very like rational person where if I'm having a

tough day and stuff like that I'll realize that I'm I'm in the

first world country. I'm in Canada.

I could I I like I mentally put myself back in like like World

War 2. If you're like like a soldier

fighting on the front lines and like like getting butchered or

all all the insanity that that like past generations and and

even people now they have to deal with.

It's like, it's like, it's like all all it takes is for me to

put myself with checks and be like, man, would I be

complaining we're thinking or worrying about the stuff and

thinking now if I was like someone who was less fortunate

even now, like in a different country, it's like and that.

And that's all you need in my mind to be able to, to stop

being such a like such a depress like like person worrying about

first world problems. And obviously problems are

relative to where you're at, right?

It's like you you're brought up in these in the environment that

you are and things are relative. But still you need to, you need

to put that into perspective with everybody else.

And that totally does it for me, right?

Like bend well, and I'm not saying that's all, it's cure all

and all, whatever, it's fine, right?

But it does really help me to do it because that because I'm like

I said, it's like my mind needs to understand things, right?

And in my head I think that's where a lot of my anxiety, so

like that comes before. If I can't understand things

then it's very difficult for me. But if I if I remind myself just

just how lucky I am to be where I'm at, then it makes me

thankful. And if you're thankful, then it

the best comes out of you, right?

That's a good snowball. Too many people take the problem

snowball and it gets bigger and bigger and bigger, but you can

actually take the positive snowball and let it start

growing as well, right? And thankfulness and

gratefulness is one of those things that that gets that ball

rolling down the hill. Yeah, and that.

And that's actually my sister Shannon.

She told me back when I was like like like at the turning point

of my life, so to speak. She's like just just get a book

and write down everything you're thankful for.

And I did it and I read that like all the time for like a lot

for like 5 a couple years. Like like whenever appeals and I

just like go and I'd add things to it.

Oh, thankful this now and then I was like, man, what am I even

worried about? Like, what have anxiety?

What am I worried about? It's like, it's it's like I've

got all these things. It's not about having things,

but I've got these things that that people would literally kill

for. Yeah, I've got a life that

people would kill for it and and I'm lucky enough to have it.

So get your head out of the sand and like, start living, right?

That's that's. Are you on social media?

Do you have, do you have stuff out there?

OK, let's plug that if people want to want to come find you.

Yeah, what's the best way to do it?

Travis Saunders on Facebook. Yeah, yeah.

And yeah, like I. Said I'm on the Spotify.

And the Spotify? Travis Saunders slash

Teleporter. There's stuff on there.

And yeah, I don't do Instagram because I'm too old, I guess.

I don't know. I just.

Never. I know.

I'm a Facebook guy too. Yeah, yeah, I'm just on Facebook

and Spotify. Yeah, Check on my music, because

it's really, really, really good.

I well, and let's finish with that, like the one thing that I

loved my very first proper man show.

I fell in love with you guys immediately because I I love AI

love a hard band that has keyboards and samples and things

like that. Like I love Oh yeah yeah, yeah,

yeah. Like, I love a hard band.

Yeah, you like the 80s stuff? Right.

I do. I do.

I like. Yes, I I definitely do.

But I also love like Faith More, 9 inch Nails again Faith More,

The hard band that has keyboards. 9 Inch Nails is a

very technologically, they're all, they're all technology, the

whole thing, right? But, you know, but then like

Radiohead and just their progression as they've grown,

you know, after they came out of the bins, they really went down

a path of. Technology.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

I think Tom York said he, he hated melodies at one point.

He wanted to write another melody again.

I was like, what? You were the best melodies on

the planet? Like what?

What are you doing? Yeah, like you know, and you

throw the kitchen sink at your intro.

I mean it's everything from, you know, different classical all

the way to, you know, with these beautiful synth parts.

And then the band comes in and it's and it can be hard with it

as well. But it's not all just obviously,

you know you're very layered in in in what makes your band.

So I just, I just want to say I love you guys.

I'm really grateful that we're able to do this because the

music is phenomenal. But when you go and look at the

depth of the guys who make the music, it's even more so.

So thank you for doing. Well, thank you very much for

saying that, that that means a lot to me.

Like a lot, because we put our heart into the band, right.

And and so to have it come across in the way that you're

describing that that's like that's literally the reason why

we do it right. It's it's it's not like it's

very selfish at the same time because it it, it gets us off

musically, right, Sure. But to have it translate is

really good. So.

We talked about that. It's it's communal.

Yeah, it's communal. You're giving to the audience,

too. And the audience gets the

experience out of it. So, yeah.

But thank you for opening up today.

Thank you for everything that you do.

Thank you for being and thank you for proper man.

Yeah. Well, you're welcome.

Thanks very much for having me and for doing this.

It's, it's, it's been a pleasure.

Yeah. Awesome.

Thanks, man. Appreciate you.

Yeah, you bet. Give.

It one more day deaf to what they say, look the other way.

Don't. Give it away.

Give it one more day dead to what they say.

Look the other way.